For some strange reason I am finding this post, one I promised to write, very difficult to begin. It has nothing to do with having different company over Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday or that my youngest is having his first friend party this Saturday. Busyness isn't really the reason. I think I'm in prime avoidance mode because the move we are about to make it so important to me.
Nonsense is so much easier to write about. Maybe I should make this post instead about how Matthew tried to catch a skunk last night while all the youth (12-18) from church where at our house for a BBQ. Luckily someone stopped him before anyone got sprayed, because as cute as a 4-year-old can be, it would be hard for a group of teenagers to forgive going to school the next day with that sort of stench.
Shoot. See that? I'm in optimal avoidance mode.
Let me see if I can just spit it out.
We are moving across the country in December and the decision is all on me. I was the one who wanted it and my husband is leaving a job he loves to make me happy. Not that I'm not happy now, it is just that Connecticut has never felt like home. I couldn't find my groove. As much as I love the beauty here, no matter how wonderful the people here have been, it just has never felt like home. We are too far from any family. It is too expensive for my frugal loving side. My husband's job will always be too many hours.
We are moving to a town in the Pacific Northwest where I have 3 siblings living. Peter has 2 siblings about 3 hours away. We are driving distance from Utah and New Mexico so we can visit our parents -and other siblings, cousins, grandparents, friends- more often. Plus, the house we are building is half the cost to buy the same here. Peter will be working a lot less hours for nearly the same pay. My children will no longer be the only ones their age at church.
But still, we know the downsides and struggles we will face here, and are exchanging them for unknown downsides and struggles. I know we have wonderful friends here and are exchanging them for people unknown. We know what we have to work around with Peter's job here, and are exchanging for unknown business and hospital systems. (That may not seem like much, but we are moving from a large physician owned group with fantastic benefits to a independent contracting group, which means that we are going to be self-employed.) That is scary. If it fails, it is all on me. That is a lot of pressure.
Oh, and we are planning on moving to a home that is merely a plot of land and a floor plan right now.
The good news is that my prime avoidance for cleaning and packing happens to be what I am doing right now. So you should be seeing a lot of me in the next couple months.
Good luck. It's so stressful, but I'm sure it will all work out for the best.
ReplyDeleteOh good luck! I'm so excited for you guys. :) Oregon? Washington? Both are absolutely beautiful and being closer to family is a definite PLUS! (Which makes me a tad bit jealous. :)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read about your adventures.
Moving is hard, but a place has to feel like home. I'm excited for you to be somewhere that does feel like home. And the pacific northwest? You are leaving one really beautiful place for another! Hope all goes well...
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the move! Big changes like this are always scary. But it sounds like it is the right decision for you. Good luck packing.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck and Congrats!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how much blogging we can do without ever saying much of anything.
ReplyDeleteI hope everything goes will with your move and your fears are soon settled!
OK fellow INFP (or whatever we are), I am totally with you on this one too. Having become a rather seasoned mover myself I am constantly faced with a roller coaster of fears, elation, contentment, need for change, excitement, anticipation, and so on and so forth. And I know you know this already but it took me several years (and a few moves) and meeting lots of different kinds of people in different circumstances to be reminded that 99% of our experience with where we have lived, is attitude. Which stinks when my attitude stinks because it's nobody's fault but my own and it is rather convenient to be able to blame it on something besides me. But it also means that although I may be initially uncomfortable with the change, I have always ended up loving the people and places that we have lived.
ReplyDeleteSo here's to changes, new places, new people and new experiences. I am excited for you guys...or am I nervous? Maybe I'm elated...you get the idea.
If you end up in Northern New Mexico, (like Santa Fe area) you need to let me know. I'd be happy to feed you all lunch or dinner or just to smell any stenchy 4year olds you have around. :)
ReplyDeletePacific NW, huh? Gotta give you a high five for that! I love it here.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte, I will be in your shoes in less than a year as we prepare ourselves for a cross-country move to. I think it's great that you're moving closer to family and wish we could except we don't have many here to begin with.
ReplyDeleteWe hope to go to the Pacific Northwest too but the problem is that we will be leaving a city we absolutely love and that's just not easy. As I think about our future, my heart aches with homesickness for a place I haven't even left yet! But it has to be done. Like you, this move is mainly because of me - I think change is good and I don't want to live my entire life in one spot not knowing what is out there waiting for us. If it's not what it's cracked up to be, we can always come back. For now, the excitement for a possible change and the hope for better things to come are enough to sustain our decision to move. Good luck to you and yours.
I think it will be an adventure! Good luck!
ReplyDeletewe left the Pacific Northwest about 8 years ago... it was a really good place for our family and I still miss a lot of what we had there.
ReplyDeleteuntil the big stressful crazy day we're happy with skunk stories or whatever you choose to deal out.
don't let it stress you too much - I've moved my family more times than I care to count... and so far I've hated every single move but none have done me in.
Family nearby is the determining factor in where we live now, and I can't imagine moving very far from them! Good luck with the building, the packing, and the avoidance!
ReplyDeleteChange is always scary. Especially when the whole family is involved! It sounds like everything will work out though. (And you get a brand new house!) We had to move from a brand new one that we built to one older than me. Not so fun....still dragging my feet after five years to make it feel like home....as Emma Jo said it's because of my attitude.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the PNW! My hubby would move to Seattle in a heartbeat. I am excited for you. Sometimes you have to take a chance. You have a right to some feelings and inspiration here, and kudos to your husband for following you.
ReplyDeleteI can understand that the burden of being the decision maker can be a heavy one. You become the hero if it works out and the villain if it doesn't.
ReplyDeleteYou can take comfort in knowing that the reasons for moving are good ones and I'm sure it will work out wonderfully.
I'm bummed to hear that Connecticut doesn't feel like home to you, since I have adopted it as my home state, but I totally understand. It would be like me moving to Utah. That would definitely NOT feel like home. I wish you luck and health as you pack up your life and move across the country! I'm sure it will work out for the best!
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. We lived in Cedar City ,UT for 3 years before moving here and it never felt right to us. (But my husband also didn't love his job.) Once we found this job and moved to Michigan we have felt like we are home for the first time in our 11 year marriage.
ReplyDeleteIf it's right, it's right. Good luck with everything!
Wow, that is a big step. Sounds like it will be the best for your family, even if it is a little stressful and scary. I can't wait to hear all about the adventure! :)
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, from where I'm sitting, it seems you are making the change for all the right reasons. Also, I don't think you should shoulder the burden of blame on your own. You are a family, a team, and your happiness is as important as all the others. Remember a happy mom is a happy home. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you. Moving is never easy even if it's your choice. And packing is the least fun thing of all. I hope it will end up being your best move yet!
ReplyDeleteWhat? The failure will be all on you? I really hope you can take some of that pressure off yourself before you move. Everything will work out. It has to. Especially if this is something that you have wanted and know is the right thing to do. It will be awesome & I must say that I am completely jealous. I would love to live there...so I will someday I hope!!! This whole thing will work out & you are AWESOME for being so brave!
ReplyDeleteOn paper--or rather, screen--this looks like such a great decision for your family. I'm curious how the plot-finding process went. When we were shopping for a home, I drove all over the county. One day we drove through the neighborhood and knew this was where we were to find a house. Then we found the house and KNEW it was for us. We love our neighborhood family here and never plan to leave. I hope the same is true for you. Good for you for putting your family and children first.
ReplyDeleteAs far as the self-employed thing goes, that's been our story almost our entire marriage. Somehow we manage to hang on. Everything always works for our good, eventually, if we trust God and do our best to do want He wants for us.
So glad you'll be within driving distance! (Though your version of driving distance is a whole lot longer than mine!!)
Good luck with the move. Everything will work out the way God has planned it. I moved many times growing up (up and down the east coast) so, while it's challenging to face the unknown, the experience will be worth it.
ReplyDeleteYou've moved a lot though, haven't you? I'm sure it will be nice to have the kids closer to family!
Megan
That is indeed a lot of pressure but I'm so excited for you! The Pacific Northwest is lovely (I've lived there, I know), and I hope you find that feeling of home there.
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna miss you guys....a lot
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
ReplyDeleteMy extremely selfish self is very happy about this move.
ReplyDeleteGosh, I'm excited for you! Moving by family is a very good thing. We lived in NYC for three years. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not home. TN is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo home. I hope you all find your home!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you're going to be fine! How exciting for you! Change is always scary, but if it feels right, then go for it!
ReplyDeleteI know we don't get revelations for other people, but when you left here I was really apprehensive about it. Maybe I just wanted you to stay, I don't know. But reading about this move to the NW really feels right. It made me so excited. I think everything will work out fine. I can't wait to hear about your new house. I've been looking for land around here for awhile. I want several acres out in the country and hope we can find something by next spring. Where did you find your floorplan? I've serached a lot of sites and drawn up many myself. It's fun. Have you sold your NC house? The Rollins finally did and I'm always wondering about you two. I still remember watching conference at your house. That was a lot of fun. Thanks for inviting us. Wish we could get together again. Funny that now we both have doctor husbands and 6 kids. Good luck with everything!
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes well! If you travel through MT, it would be fun to meet!
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes well! If you travel through MT, it would be fun to meet!
ReplyDelete