I have this problem: I'm pretty sure I've been cursed somehow. I don't recall opening any mummy's graves or trespassing a haunted house, but after 6 kids my memory is stunningly horrible so I can't rule it out. Just look at the facts, they are convincing.
It all started a few weeks ago, when my friend told me about a salt shaker she accidentally didn't pay for when she left the store. She wasn't sure if she should bring it back and sneak it back on the shelf, bring it to checkout and let them ring it up, or just ask if they would add the price to her total the next time she visited. I chuckled at her dilemma and shared sometimes-being-honest-stinks stories. Upon leaving her house, I went to the store. Where my son tried to hide a little toy in his pocket. After the lecture about stealing was completed and I was putting the groceries into the car, I found- not one but- two items hiding under my purse. So I grabbed the kids, re-reviewed the still fresh lecture, went in and paid for the offending items. (I went through the self-checkout line to avoid the you-came-back-in-to-pay-for-something-you-got-away-with?" look on the cashier.)
I know what you're thinking: one odd incidence does not a curse make, but just wait. A few days later we had a chili cook off at church. A friend of mine told me they were on the lookout for their slow cooker lid since they came home with the wrong one last year. I laughed and laughed. How do you come home with the wrong slow cooker lid? Well, guess what happened when I came home and went to wash mine? Yep. Totally the wrong lid. It fits, but is kind of small. I'm still not sure how it is possible, but I no longer doubt it can happen. Perhaps our congregation has a slow cooker lid kleptomaniac?
Now I don't know about you, but I'm starting to notice a trend. You'd think I would've been more careful a few days later when my sister told me her daughter tried to cut her hair. Lest there be confusion, I mean my niece tried to cut my sister's hair. I almost fell out of my chair laughing at the thought of my 3 year old niece wielding scissors on my sister's long beautiful blond hair, "I've heard (or experienced) many kids cutting hair experiences, but never a kid cutting their mom's hair!" The very next day my boys wanted to "do my hair" and somehow in the pulling and clipping, my two year old grabbed some scissors. Luckily he isn't too practiced yet, he only cut wisps off before I recognized the sound of scissors cutting.
So now you see my problem. I am unable to laugh at others' misfortune without a repeat in my life. This is very hard because I find others' misfortune highly entertaining. So please, until I find a solution, don't tell me any funny or ridiculously improbable stories. I will, however, take any stories involving houses spontaneously cleaning, kids miraculously going to bed without trouble or husbands coming home with chocolate. Maybe, just maybe, I can turn this curse into a blessing.
I love to read your stories. Highly entertaining!
ReplyDeleteDid you break a mirror? You are too funny. I'm glad you caught the scissors in time. :)
ReplyDeleteSo funny! I especially love the cutting your hair story.
ReplyDeleteKent had that same curse in high school, although his incidents involved getting bad acne and hitting a car. I'm glad he got over that before we got married!
ReplyDeleteI sure hope you didn't laugh the last time I told you I was pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI was just about to tell you the story of what I did to my car on Saturday, but it hasn't been long enough to be funny yet. Glad I haven't found the humor...
ReplyDeleteHA HA, I was going to try to think of a funny thing to tell you but I dont think I can top Kims.....TOO funny.
ReplyDeleteHahaha... Things like that seem to happen to me too, only mine is definitely my own fault. As terrible as it sounds, let's just say on the odd occasions when I might have had a slightly, somewhat judgmental thought about someone I am immediately assigned as their Visiting Teacher. You'd think someone was trying to teach me some kind of lesson or something.
ReplyDeleteI would like to know who read this and thought about their basement flooding. Guess what happened to me today...
ReplyDeleteHow funny. I was asking Jared the other day if he really believe in jinxing. Because sometimes it really feels like it works that way.
ReplyDeleteMatthew really cut your hair? That is too funny. Glad you caught him before Joseph caught on.
ReplyDeleteThat is so crazy (and funny) At least you caught Matthew before he did some real damage to your hair.
ReplyDeleteDid you have to return a grocery cart to the store? That's when I suspected my life was cursed.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, what could I share? Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you that I am pregnant with non-tuplets...or maybe I should go the "I won a Nobel prize and Betty Crocker cookoff all in the same day"? Yeah, let's go with the cookie story. I wish upon you something (hopefully) yummy to eat that you didn't have to make.
ReplyDeleteihenpecked- that was an enjoyable story. Like I said I like reading about other's misfortune.
ReplyDeleteEmma jo- thanks for the happy thoughts.
Claudia- just read about your car story. Congrats on fixing it yourself!
I love how you can weave your life experiences into such an entertaining story. My life seems to be more like a series of unfortunate events that don't quite flow together. And my blog shows it.
ReplyDeleteThat's hilarious! Those are really funny stories. Thanks for sharing.
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