I'm sick: my husband is sick. At 6:00 I admitted defeat and went to McDonalds for 15 $1 sandwiches and 4 large fries. Don't know what the rest of the family is going to do for dinner, though. I wonder what the cashier thought when I pulled up alone in my little car and ordered all that food.Speaking of which, the other day I was checking out at a store and was mentally complaining about the speed, or rather lack of speed, of the cashier. And then I thought it was a good thing she couldn't read my mind, because my internal tirade would have hurt her feelings. Then I wondered what it would be like if I could read her mind. She'd probably be wondering what that crazy lady was doing looking at her so peculiarly. And then I thought at the speed she was moving, she might not have enough brain power to do anything other than check my groceries. And then I thought I was still glad she couldn't read my mind, because that was downright mean. She was so slow I had a lot of time to think about it.
And on that same vein, I have 2 favorite checkers at WalMart. They are friendly and FAST and I walk up and down the isle to see if they're working before I choose a line. Because even if they have twice the people in line, I will still get out of the store faster with them. They recognize me now. I might go to the store way too often.
The thing that stinks about a high tolerance of pain is that I am still up making sure my children are fed a nice, nutritious dinner while my husband is sacked out on the couch. That is also what stinks about being sick when you're the mom. Poopy diapers don't wait till you feel better (although I have tried before).
Have you ever noticed that bad parenting makes for good blogging? I really, really care about all your entertainment. In fact, I have apparently been preparing for it my entire career as a mother.
I think that Emily Dickinson would have been a fantastic blogger. You know, as a well written recluse and all.
I tend to jump around a lot in my head. If you've ever talked with me IRL, you already know this. And I'm usually trying to stay focused. When I don't try, I start conversations with "Well what do you think about it?" Just ask my husband, he loves when I do that. And when he asks what "it" is I'll say, "You know that one thing." He loves that even more. Really, go ask. But you'll have to wait because he is asleep on the couch right now.
Apparently my sickness has removed my try-to-sound-consistent-and-normal filter and you get some of my pure randomness. I'm sorry.
I've often thought Emily would've been a great blogger.
ReplyDeleteGet better! (Or don't, because maybe it keeps you chained to your chair, where you can entertain me on Twitter!)
I'd always wanted to be able to read minds until I read Midnight Sun and realized it would be awfully noisy.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as going to Wal-Mart too often. Having said that, I have frequented the Wal-Mart in Greenville for the 5 years we've lived here and yet to find a FAST cashier.
Sorry to hear that you are sick - hope it's not your prostate :-)
ReplyDeleteHope you get better soon so you can visit your favorite cashiers at Walmart (and McDonalds). Do you have a McD's in your Walmart? The one where we used to live did!
Hope you start feeling better soon! I know what you mean about the mom being sick. I was sick Mon-Wed....now it is going to take a week to get my house back to normal. :) Life doesn't stop for 'the mom.'
ReplyDeleteThere is a checker at my Walmart that I avoid for that same reason. His elevator does NOT go all the way to the top. He actually argued with me that I didn't look like my driver's license and didn't want to let me use my check. Like I would go on a spree to buy diapers, tampons, and 100 cups of yogurt with 4 whiny children if I stole a check book (and a license that matched names).
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ReplyDeleteThat was me. sorry! I posted the same comment twice and then there was a little comment black hole where I deleted the copy and now I can't stop typing about it and it has gone on way too long, so I'll just...
ReplyDeleteThis might be my most favorite post ever. Of all time. Truly. I love every single word written.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I try to point out a part I thought was particularly cool or funny, but I'd just be cutting and pasting the entire post. And that's just lame.
Are you medicated? Don't stop, if you are.
My husband includes me in his mind conversations, halfway through. It makes me laugh hysterically when he bursts out with, "Isn't that a GREAT idea" after a solid 10 minutes of silence. I really do love it.
Great response Claudia!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're both sick Charlotte. I assume it's not a stomach thing considering the 15 hamburgers.
Get well soon...enough to take care of all your kids when they catch it!
Wow. That reminded me of an IM our family might have, only it was just you. Sorry you aren't feeling well. I'll come watch your kids if you buy my plane ticket :-)
ReplyDelete"Have you ever noticed that bad parenting makes for good blogging?"
ReplyDeleteI must be the best blogger in the world this month. Here's to fast checkers...bless 'em.
I hate it when cashiers go so slow it drives me a little crazy when I get in one of the express lines and it ends up going slower than the line next to me with 15 people in it.
ReplyDeleteI sure that I beat Kim out for watching your kids if you fly me out there. It would however cost you more to fly me than her. Sorry you are sick, get better soon.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see the Tucker randomness genes are still there.
ReplyDeleteI think I am going to try the "well what do you think about it" I usually end up saying, "sorry I forgot to listen" (more then once in the same coversation)
ReplyDeleteI think you are doing great...I go through the fast food drive-through way too often even when I'm not sick. Somehow, it never makes me feel any better! Hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteUm, I'm sorry but how can you go to McD to pick up sandwiches AND make sure your kids are getting a nutritious dinner? That's called artist's license if I ever heard one. I realize now that maybe you were kidding but I still thought I'd be rude and mention it. Consider it payback for all those mean things you thought about the poor checker.
ReplyDeleteOh yes. I had a favorite checker one time. We saw each other outside of Walmart one day and greeted each other like old friends. That's kind of pathetic.
My mind works a lot like yours...I think about random things all the time. I don't know how in the world I can carry on a conversation with someone. I think you need to find a good babysitter to handle all of those poopy diapers. That's my only suggestion. lol
ReplyDelete@Twinlinebackers, I'm on quite friendly terms with several late-night greeters and checkers at my 24-hour Walmart. My husband works swing shift, so we live in our own time zone, and shopping can happen anywhere from 11pm to 3am (and that's if he's along. If he isn't, ANY time can feature a shopping trip, if the car's available to me).
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