The more a couple is together, the more alike they become. A romantic notion? Maybe when one is young and newly in love and still separate people. After 13 years of marriage, I have come to a terrifying realization: you do not get to choose the direction you “grow together.” I’m sure Peter didn’t intend to become more socially awkward any more than I intended to laugh at an episode of the Family Guy. And yet, here we are.
I think it may be worse. Our individual geekiness is combining. The other day Peter wanted to know where I kept my copy of the Lao Tzu and I found myself reading an issue of Kiplingers. At this rate he will one day enjoy Sudoku while I watch professional golf on TV. The very thought makes me shudder.
I suppose when I was 1st married I pictured our conglomeration as something similar to a trip to the grocery store. I could stroll down the isles, carefully examining my options. “Hmm, Peter is good at debating. Sounds good, add to the cart” or “Late night snacking smells a little stale, let’s discard it.” I’m sure he would have much rather added my love of math than my love of naps. You would think if we were doomed to become alike, we could at least pick which similarities we would adopt and which we could discard. I sort of thought we would take the best of Peter and Charlotte, sloughing off the less desirable parts, when we created our “Cheter” (Did you snicker when you read that? If so you might be as deprived as we are).
At least we don’t have to worry about beginning to look like each other (of course that is because we already look alike, when first married we were mistaken often as brother and sister (a weird brother and sister who held hands and kissed a lot (and had a proclivity for nested parenthesis))).
And so we may be doomed to watch our friends become adorable older couples as we become complete social misfits. Just call us Parlotte.
Yeah, it's kind of funny to step back ad think how we have "gotten closer" over the years and morphed into one another...you know how you mentioned some married couple look a lot alike? especially after being married for a while? I have a theory about that but you'll have to ask me in person, I would rather say it than type it.
ReplyDeleteI was just commenting to Susan last weekend how lots of couples at church look like each other. I guess as far as morphing into one another and forming a new us, as long as we love ourselves and each other it'll be a great thing!
ReplyDeleteI think I would have to disown you as a Tucker sister if you actually liked and looked forward to watching professional golf on TV, seriously. I'm just sayin...
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to look alike - you shop together, eat the same food, look at each other all the time, experience much of the same stuff. Where before you were separate people, you then become the same person - Later.
ReplyDeleteStrangely, Barlow and I got the "you look like brother and sister" comment all the time when we were engaged, but not much since. Maybe we aren't going to morph! Or maybe it's gotten so bad that people are too polite to say anything.
ReplyDeleteI often think about how much Barlow has changed me- some things are good, like teaching me how to say things like "I'm sorry" and "Thank you", but he also gave me a tolerance for potty humor that I would have been disgusted with just a few years ago. I don't think I've passed anything to him, except for maybe the story lines of Gilmore Girls and Pride and Prejudice, the words "cute" and "those shoes are so last season".
Just wait until you have been double that time. It is scary to see how we are alike. I think that I like it though.
ReplyDeleteemma jo I am intrigued. Remind me to remind you to tell me your theory.
ReplyDeleteCire We may love each other, but our poor children may die of embarrassment before they're grown.
Kim We are still years from that point, and I am fighting gallantly to avoid getting there (because, really, professional GOLF?!?)
Claudia All the time we'll come downstairs separately only to find we are dressed alike. You're right it really is unavoidable.
ReplyDeleteAndrea Peter has given me a high tolerance for potty humor, too. I hope Barlow drops a "those shoes are so last season" on me next time I see him. I could use a good laugh.
Tucker Mom Looking at how far we've come, it might give me nightmares if I consider double the time.
WAIT!!! I thought you and I were the same person!! If you are becoming Peter does that mean I have to also???? Please NO. (and what does that mean for Bryan?)
ReplyDeleteCharlotte, I just love reading your blog. It's always interesting and entertaining (like the red water and shells post.) I notice that whenever I start complaining about Nathan's behavior like always losing things or being late, then that starts happening to me too. So I've learned not to criticize (too much) because I know I'll become just like whatever I'm criticizing.
ReplyDeleteMarcie Yeah, I've learned it's better for me to not criticize unless I ready to eat humble pie within the week. Thanks, for the compliment.
ReplyDeleteDavis family How did I miss commenting back to you? I think, given enough time, we will all 4 be the same person. That will be scary. We should have warned our husbands more strongly before we got married about the dangers of joining the fam.
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