I hope I don't induce wide spread panic, but I feel it my responsibility to warn you:
I wouldn't be sounding this alarm unless I held unrefutable proof. (You might want to sit down to prevent swooning in your distress.)
You see, yesterday I went to put on a shirt retrieved from the back of my closet . . . and I couldn't button it. It woudn't even reach in the middle. Not only that, the pants I put on were much tighter than they used to be. I came to the only obvious conclusion: Our entire world is shrinking around me. My clothing has simply gotten smaller than it used to be.
I have more proof! This shrinking world phenomena explains another oddity in my life. You see somehow a couple hours of each day have disappeared. There just used to be more time! Until my realization yesterday, I couldn't figure out why. But now I know: a shrunken world! Its decreased size has obviously resulted in faster rotation and shorter days.*
I decided this on my way to spend a couple hours, well, sitting and eating at Panera Bread with my friends. I'm sure that should help. No really.
* My geekiness feels a need to explain a little more: Think of an ice figure skater pulling in her arms while spinning, her rotation speeds up. It is called conservation of angular momentum. If you didn't know of my overly odd love of physics before, I guess you do now. Yes, I spent time finding a web site to explain this even though no one cares. You're welcome.
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Talk about a shrinking world, we used to be in the same Primary (aka Children's Sunday School) at church when my mother was the chorister. When I asked my parents if they remembered her, it turns out my father was also their family's home teacher. Go figure.
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ReplyDeleteAbout this shrinking world...you haven't eaten any mushrooms recently, or little candies that say "eat me", have you? I love that picture by the way.
ReplyDelete(That first deleted comment was me...too early for me to write and make sense apparently. Though I should have not told you that it was me and then everyone would have been dying to know who said what and why is was deleted. Those kind of blogging mysteries drive me insane.)
LOL, I love your reasoning. A shrinking world explains so much in my life too. :-)
ReplyDeleteWow! A shrinking world. I had no idea it was actually so clear. Makes me feel much better. Thanks, I'm going with it!
ReplyDeleteMy clothes are shrinking too, but I keep hoping it will all be worth it in six months. (Because they would be shrinking whether I was pregnant or not -- might as well get a baby out of it, right?).
ReplyDeleteI like the rotational angular momentum thingie. The other day I wanted to know when the sun sets, so I ended up spending a lot of time on the U.S. Naval Observatory page, where you can put in some variables and get a table about sunsets/rises and such. It was fascinating, and now I want to know why civilian twilight is 30 min and nautical twilight is an hour (at least in Utah).
Sometimes my world seems to be growing and growing and I feel like the little ant in the sidewalk crack. Why can't the world just stop changing?
ReplyDeleteHa I knew it had to be something besides my love for chocolate and caramel. The world is shrinking, yes, now I go back and eat what ever I want. The relief is fantastic and tasty. Thanks so much Charlotte, also love the physics.
ReplyDeleteAccording to a recent study, our days have been shortened--by 1.6 milliseconds (or something like that). So, you obviously FEEL that!! See! You AREN'T crazy!!
ReplyDeleteI think my patience has been shortened. I know I used to have an abundance somewhere. If you feel things getting longer, wouldya let me know? Thanks.
My clothes haven't been fitting either. This must be why. Another reason the world seems to be shrinking is this, don't all the young people seem to be getting smaller? I mean the missionaries are way smaller then they used to be. The deacons who pass at church are getting smaller too. Think about it. Crazy
ReplyDeleteYou need to go mull this over some more, Charlotte, like over some ice cream. Maybe a sundae would help you think better. I'm sure from the picture your brain hasn't shrunk!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad someone has now been able to explain why both my clothes and the productive hours in my days are shrinking so fast.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad someone has now been able to explain why both my clothes and the productive hours in my days are shrinking so fast.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree. Have you seen a cereal box lately? When we were kids they were huge. Now they are the size of a shoe. Lunch with friends is never a bad idea.
ReplyDeleteHey, Charlotte, please explain to me why my clothing is getting bigger! Everything I own is too big, yes I said it for all the world to hate me, but I lose weight without even trying. In fact, I do the opposite, and I still lose weight. but, I have noticed food items getting smaller, as my children, once sweet and smelled of warm milk and lavender, now smell of benzoyle peroxide and eat like they are the proverbial swarm of locusts. Ahh.... to be the mother of 3 teenagers. I actually thought mine would skip this horrible phase. Help!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish my belly would shrink....maybe if I come stand next to you your magic shrinking skills will do the trick.....either that or I have to wait 4 more weeks.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, for a minute there I thought you were going to announce that you were pregnant! LOL!
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks so much for your super sweet comments on my blog. It meant a lot.
Please have a moment of silence at Panera for me. I love that place, but alas there is no Panera here, nor there, nor anywhere in the middle of the country!
ReplyDeleteI knew something hinky was going on. This week it's working in my favor since my baby was born on Monday and my stomach seems to be shrinking. Sadly, all too soon we'll reach the point where it quits doing that and everything in my dresser starts shrinking instead. Stupid physics.
ReplyDeleteThe world is shrinking in my neck of the woods too! I know all about someone switching the wardrobe out on me. Why must life play these kinds of jokes on us?
ReplyDeleteEmma Jo beat me to the Alice in Wonderland reference! I thought maybe the world was shrinking as an advertising ploy for Tim Burton. Can't wait to see that movie!
ReplyDeleteI first noticed the shrinking as a child when summertime seemed to get shorter every year.
On the science note... Kent and I recently debated whether the moon rotates on an axis or not. After a frustrating hour, we agreed that even though we use different terminology, we both understand why we always see the same face of the moon. (Just don't try to make your spouse see it your way!)
That picture is creepy. Good luck with the resolution. I hope you had fun at Panera, I love that place.
ReplyDeleteI lose hours all the time too! Freaks me out... ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks for the physics explanation. I always wondered why that happened to the ice skaters. Wondered, but never bother to find out why! No that I would've understood it. Physics and I don't get along. Except the Venturi effect. I had to know that one. ;)