Sunday, July 11, 2010

I mistook my boys for mops

A few months back, I convinced my boys they wanted to grow their hair a little longer.  If you ask me why, I'll tell you it's because all the tween boys are wearing it like that nowadays and I wanted them to fit in, but in reality it had more to do with the lack of desire to drag them to the barbers.

Unfortunately there was a slight flaw in my plan: longer hair requires some necessities, if it isn't to to look like it's sprouting from a parentless urchin.  Things like washing it more than once a quarter, being willing to brush it, and not minding hair product.  Do you know how many of those things these lovely boys of mine were willing to do?  None. Zero.  Nadda.

I bought them gel and showed them how to put it in, three weeks later they were willing to swear they had never heard of gel, didn't know what it looked like, and couldn't tell me where it had disappeared.  Careless, awesome curls were a rarity and always the result of embarrassing Mom-can-still-tackle-me episodes. Instead my boys sprouted fluffy, bulbous knobs around their heads.

Basically, I had two tweenagers with mops as heads.

Did I tell you about the time I noticed one of them had enough grease in his hair to cook some fries?  When I asked how this was possible (he had come down from his shower with wet hair every morning), he replied he had not been using shampoo.  For over a month ... maybe even two months!  Why would you wet down your hair every day without washing it?  Unless a shrug and shake of the head is some deep answer that went over my head, there was no good answer to that question.

Basically, I had two tweenagers with dirty mops as heads.

What about the time (or times) I looked over at church and realized neither boy had even tried to brush their hair in the morning and both sported bed heads, complete with flattened down parts and peaks on the other side?

Basically, I had two tweenagers with dirty, tangled mops as heads.

And that is why, when one mentioned he wanted a shorter hair cut for summer and his brother showed similar interest, I practically killed myself running for the razor.  Their hair was so bad I was willing to risk cutting it myself before they changed their minds.


My boys have normal looking human heads again. But I suppose I will have to find the real mop again the next time I need to clean up a spill.

Someday they will actually care about how they look, right? Right?!?

(I don't have good before/after pictures so I'm posting some of all the kids.  Without too much effort I'm sure you'll be able to pick out the two that went from dirty, tangled mops to normal.)




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18 comments:

  1. It was a good idea in theory. My brother looks like Hippie Jesus. It's not a good look.

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  2. your kids are cute. mops or not.I have absolutely NO clue what it would be like to have boys. that's like a foreign language to me!!

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  3. Hmmm... I'm wondering which plight is worse... boys that don't care, or boys that care too much! Anyway you shake it, those boys of yours are adorable. Wait... tweenagers probably don't like being called adorable, do they? I'll have to work on that.

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  4. Love it! I can totally see myself in this situation a few years from now - right now my potentially mop-headed son can still be held down and forcibly gelled every day (yeah, he's 4, and he needs product to look respectable).

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  5. a year ago my then 14 year old decided he wanted to go the mop route... luckily just as it got popular he decided he wanted to go short... of course, his 45 minute showers involved shampoo at least - I'm all for shorter hair!!

    ugh - 15 year olds are going to be the death of me!!!

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  6. We already have BATTLE ROYALES with our 4-year-old refusing to wash his hair. WHY is that? This makes me very fearful for the future of stinky, smelly boys in my house.

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  7. Haha! Before you know it, they'll be hitting you up for all kinds of money for beautifying products :)

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  8. I keep my boys hair shorter, ALWAYS. I know how it ends when it is longer, NEVER good.

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  9. ha ha ha ha , I am trying to comment but I am too busy laughing ha ha ha, this post was great. Loved the before and after pics too. Your boys are handsome.

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  10. Hee hee...yeah...the shorter dos are just a wee bit more flattering. And they'll start caring about their looks when they start caring about girls, I'm guessing.

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  11. Thank goodness my boys have always preferred short hair. And thank goodness for the chlorine in the swimming pool to keep their heads clean.

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  12. What's sad is, Robert Pattinson made greasy guy hair cool again.

    Maybe you should add to the chore chart using shampoo and soap?

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  13. LOL! Remembering the day I took the scissors and cut a fist full of tangles from a child's head and with no sympathy whatsoever said, "I kept telling you that it was necessary to brush your hair ALL THE WAY THROUGH and not just the top layer. Live with it until it grows out."

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  14. The best thing about short hair is the low maintenance, but every now and then it is fun to have a change.

    Your kids have that nice wavy hair too! Geez, you are so cute and perky.... Is till can't believe you have 6 kids.

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  15. Love the buzz cuts. Such cute boys.

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  16. I had to laugh when I saw the title in my google reader. You write so good, I always laugh (kindly, of course. With you, not at you!)
    My kids hate having their hair washed so I don't see long hair in either of their futures. Let's hope the "in" styles stay short, then!

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  17. Dood... having kids with mop heads would be GENIUS. They could wash their hair and the floor at the same time.

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  18. Yes, I'm pretty sure they WILL eventually care...
    Our 16 yr old uses more product than me and spends more time on his hair than me (I'm a wash and go naturally wavy almost curly long hair kind of gal...)

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