Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Peter, Black Friday, & Sleep Deprivation are NOT Budget Friendly

Like all good Santas (are they all female or is that just my house?), I had made my list and checked it twice (or 100 times- don't judge my list making ways).  Nearly everything had been ordered, shopped, or at the very least planned.  I was a little short on Joseph so I scanned the Black Friday ads for ideas.  There, on page 4,096 of Toys'R'Us, was a {*Christmas*Present*Censor*}.  Five-year-olds love to jump and this might direct his energy in a less parental back straining direction (how often must I remind him not to jump on my back?).  So at the lovely hour of midnight I sent my husband out to purchase said item and promptly went to bed.

Now if you are unfamiliar with Black Friday, let me tell you it has long ago stopped being about the exceptional deals that save our meager budget.  Now we do it for the joy of the hunt.  We love pouring over the ads, making a grand scheme, and dreaming (in much too short dreams) about the deals we'll be making.  We've never been in a riot, instead having many a pleasant chat with all the other crazies waiting in line at 4 in the morning.  My husband and I find it, well, fun, something we look forward to and are disappointed if no door busters call our name.  I, however, was eschewing the nontraditional midnight time in favor of a 5 o'clock run to JoAnn's for $1.50/ yard flannel.

I knew I was in trouble when I woke to the phone ringing at 4:00AM; it could only mean one thing and Peter's brief message (when I was unable to find the portable phone in time) confirmed it: he was in Walmart and had been since leaving Toys'R'Us.  I knew he had been looking at that ad a little too long and often.  I stumbled around (I am blind without glasses, contacts, or light of any sort) until I found my cell phone and dialed my husband's  number, which promptly rang on the back of the couch.  He must have borrowed someone's phone to call me!

Even in my half awake state, I realized nothing good could be had from Peter wandering the door buster filled aisles of Walmart for 4 hours.  I grabbed his phone, threw on a jacket and trudged through the rain to the car.  Due to my husband's schedule, we had yet to doorbust in our new state and I was unsure about how busy it would be.  Pulling into the parking lot left no question: the entire thing was filled!  The doors were blocked off with one small entrance for the floods of people entering.  I walked the aisles for an hour, with no success, looking for my husband to deliver the phone and check his cart (in retrospect I should have used my cell phone to take pictures for People of Walmart, but I was too tired to think about it at the time).

Admitting an inability to find him among the throngs, I trudged home to await my fate.  My husband made it home by 5:30 and I surveyed the damage.  While waiting for the 3 {*Christmas*Present*Censor*} he stayed around all night to buy (arguing quite reasonably that it was the best deal he had ever found), he had wandered the store adding things to the cart.  For. FOUR.  hours.  His purchases included the board game, {*Christmas*Present*Censor*}, which we already own, and a {*Christmas*Present*Censor*} game that I had already bought (and showed him!).  There was also the {*Christmas*Present*Censor*} and the {*Christmas*Present*Censor*}, oh, and a {*Christmas*Present*Censor*} that we had discussed and decided not to buy for Joseph this year (ironically he was the one who wanted to wait till next year).

To make a long story even longer, he spent way more than the $30 I planned.  He did finish off the two older boys lists (even Ethan's list, which is always double due to his late December birthday).  He laughed about some of his choices (later when he wasn't sleep deprived).  Some of it will be waiting for birthdays, others will be added to Santa's list in lieu of things I hadn't yet bought, and still others will sit and taunt me with their hilariousness.  And Peter is grounded from Black Friday shopping alone.

The End

P.S. I had a lovely time at JoAnn's and A.C. Moore.  Hardly any crowds and plenty of flannel to go around.  Even spent time talking to a lovely woman about our Thanksgivings while waiting in the fabric cutting line.  I stayed within my own budget (kind of).

P.P.S.  I am glad Peter likes to be involved in the present buying and that we are blessed enough financially that blowing the budget was funny and not stressful (I do allow extra room every year in the Christmas budget because he buys something not in my plan for the kids) .


  1. Wow. I am in hysterics! When does sleep deprivation yield positive results?

    I have to tell you, your writing never fails to make me laugh. Your perspective is awesome. Plus, you have wisdom. At least enough to realize that you know less now than you did while in college : ).

  2. Hahahaha! that is awesome. I was quite worried when Barlow headed out on his own that morning. And rightfully so! I'm sure glad we don't have six kids for him to spoil :-)

    I'm really glad to hear someone else gets a little of the back-breaking mommy trampoline action. Can't wait to fill in all those censored presents, I think I'll be more excited than the kids to find out what Peter bought!

  3. Thats great. It reminds me of the time Bryan was over an hour late from a "quick" run to walmart to pick up one thing returning with a trunk FULL of clearance toys that he could not resist. They just happen to come over the loud speaker as he was running to get the one thing saying that ALL clearance toys were now only $2. I have yet to sort through his trunk and have no clue what all is in there, other than I think there are about 15 under water skate boards. Gotta love the shopping husbands!

  4. I so look forward to every one of your blog posts - you never fail to make me laugh!

    I do find it hilarious that you trudged around Walmart (wearing pj's and a jacket? looked for your picture yet?) and eventually gave up and went home.

    What's the plan for the flannel?

  5. Ahhh, the deals. It is just sad that he couldn't find my Toys R Us deal too though. Darn. (and Brenda, that is amazing that all clearance toys were only $2! I wish I'd been there!)

  6. Kim, what is your Toys R Us deal??? Do share.

  7. Reading this blog reminds me of watching the edited version of Kill Bill... everything was bleeped out. On the up side, I am impressed, I haven't even started my Christmas shopping, and you are almost done

  8. Ambrosia- Pretty sure sleep deprivation one year led to a new piano. That was a good thing!

    Andrea- I think it is common for men who go out on Black Friday. Just wait till you have over 50 lbs jumping on your back when you least expect it. Lots of fun.

    Davis Family- Seriously, do deals just follow him around like magic or did he sell his soul to the devil to get that lucky all the time?

    Claudia Even at 4 in the morning surrounded by mountainously filled carts I realized it was a bit funny.

  9. Kim- Well your was more popular than what I wanted. Did you get it at BabysRUs or no luck?

    Andrea- She wanted Peter to pick up a *Christmas*Present*Censor*. (Bwah-ha-ha!)

    Mom at Our House- I really wanted done early this year, last year I had only just begun and was still shopping on Christmas Eve.

  10. Too funny! I took my husband Black Friday shopping once and he has not had any interest in going again.
    He will often come home from a simple errand with way more than he was sent to get. Like a few weeks ago when he came home with some cars for our son. I guess he will be getting cars for Christmas.

  11. This was hilarious! Love the Christmas Present Censor! My husband Stephen is the in-person shopper in our family and I am the online shopper. He's already learned the hard way not to open packages addressed to me!

    Also glad to find another LDS blogger!

  12. Christmas present censor! That's good. We were able to get our kids some cool stuff and I did it all last month (they are still so young and easy to please!). They do run such great deals - though I've never made it to a black friday, I've always wanted to. I always hear of stores selling out so I'm glad you got the flannel fabric you were hoping for, too!

  13. Sounds like you scored on the flannel! What are your plans to use it for?

    PS: This is another year that I've missed out on Black Friday shopping. Drats. Never done it, yet. Maybe next year...

  14. Ah reminds me of the good old days when we would all go together with the walkie talkies. We really did have so much fun. Glad you and Peter still love to do the sales. We had lots of fun with Brenda and Bryan.

  15. I have never been to a Black Friday event. I'm scared to go. I haven't even started the Christmas shopping yet....

    Hats off to you...

  16. jeanette If that is the case, never let him go out on Black Friday, it is like that only, worse.

    Virginia- I love online shopping. I have been getting a couple packages a day. Thanks for stopping by! I love meeting LDS bloggers, too.

    Gabrielle- I think it is harder when they are older and their present choices are more specific. If the Star Wars lego set they want doesn't go on sale, you are SOL (or if you wait for it to go on sale you risk it being sold out).

  17. Terresa- I make matching PJ's each year. I need over 30 yards now to get it done, so it was a definite score.

    Tucker Mom- That is one of the traditions you got into when I was older. I was married before we went together. I remember always stopping for the cheap socks!

    East of Eden- I originally went for pure budget reasons. Whatever kids stuff was on sale, that is what we got them (pre online shopping, easy to follow ads days). I really wanted done early this year (when my oldest was one I don't even think we bought her anything, maybe some small gift.)

  18. You and I may be kindred moms, but we are not kindred shoppers. (Although, I do love shopping online.)

    The "great deal" I found this year: we are taking our family to Mexico for a work project at an orphanage with the foundation where Kent works. Some friends in the ward are also going, and my kids are way excited to have friends there with them. So excited that they agreed to be satisfied with stockings only. So I just knocked out ten presents with one trip!

  19. WHAT!! You went to JoAnns without me?!? JK I had fun taking Elise later.