Lump of coal for Mother's Day?

I am a good mother...

My kids always eat healthy:

They're well groomed when we go to the store

(both in hair and shoes):

I provide only wholesome, educational entertainment:

I take pride when they follow my example:

I always provide adequate supervision:

Their chores are age appropriate:

I only provide well put together outfits:

They always have the best birthday cakes:

I would never make my sick child go to a party because I spent 500,000 hours making costumes:

I stay well rested so I can give the kids the energy and attenetion they need:

And the house is always spotless:

And that is why I was given a couple of lumps of coal for Mother's Day

(although they went through a few million years of pressure before I got them):

Happy Mother's Day!