I am a good mother...
My kids always eat healthy:
They're well groomed when we go to the store
(both in hair and shoes):
I provide only wholesome, educational entertainment:
I take pride when they follow my example:
I always provide adequate supervision:
Their chores are age appropriate:
I only provide well put together outfits:
They always have the best birthday cakes:
I would never make my sick child go to a party because I spent 500,000 hours making costumes:
I stay well rested so I can give the kids the energy and attenetion they need:
And the house is always spotless:
And that is why I was given a couple of lumps of coal for Mother's Day
(although they went through a few million years of pressure before I got them):
Happy Mother's Day!