Well it finally happened for me. About 100 days after everyone else in the country finishes their school year, my kids finally started summer vacation. I was trying to find the best way to celebrate, but couldn't chose between hiding in my closet or curling in the fetal position on my bed. So instead, I took my elementary kids out of class early and brought them to McDonald's for lunch. Yeah, I really was that tired of packing lunches and that ready to not send in more lunch money.
Now McDonald's and I have enjoyed a mutually beneficial relationship for many years. They not only provide me with extra padding around the middle and backside, they are also my sanity keeper on days when I need a break (especially rain days). I think McDonald's Playlands may be the greatest invention since earplugs or duct tape. It may qualify for the single greatest reason all my children and sanity survive summers.
In return for these lovely benefits, I provide them with astronomical sums of money.
Our relationship was so strong, it survived the my childen's discovery that McD's sells more than dollar sandwiches and even has options with cheap toys included. It later survived half the kids graduating from Happy Meals to Arm-and-Leg-Costing Meals. It (barely) survived fries cooked in non-hydrogenated fat. It even made it through that rough patch where they got my order wrong every single time I went for an entire six months. But it may not survive my children's discovery of a height limit sign for the Playland.
How can I get a moment alone in the middle of a chaotic summer day when half my kids no longer fit on the Playland? "Can I have your iPhone? " asked in triplicate is not my idea of fun. Neither is a chanted rendition of "When are we going home, I'm bored." I can't very well pretend the kids aren't mine when they are draped all over me, feigning death from lack of sliding.
I just paid tens of dollars for a moment's peace and now I get nothing. Well, I still get the extra padding, but I could get that in the drive through without unnecessarily burning calories by walking inside!
So my summer plans have been dashed. I'm going to go with my original plan of alternating between the closet and the fetal position with short breaks for chocolate. Better make sure I've stocked up on extra earplugs and duct tape. If some kids don't survive the summer, I'm blaming McDonalds.