Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Are you a Kindred Mom?

So, a while ago I had a friend mention her good mom/bad mom dichotomy in a post. That got me thinking about the internal struggle inherent to motherhood. Here is my "bad mom" side epitomized in a few simple questions.

~Find out if you are a kindred mom or not~

1. Have you ever played the “find that smell" game?
A) Yes, and I have offered an award to whomever wins
B) I might have once, but the the smell was not caused by my action and/or inaction
C) What is the “find that smell game?”

2. Have you ever noticed your child doing something against the rules and pretended you hadn’t seen because they were staying out of your hair?
A) Yes, and I got mad when another child tattled and I couldn’t pretend anymore
B) For a minute (I couldn’t stop what I was doing when I first noticed), but stopped the child as soon as I could
C) I always stop my child as soon as I see them disobeying, which is RARELY, maybe never

3. Have you ever scoured the house to find a missing library book?
A) Yes, I found it in the laundry basket in the basement (or some other ridiculous place) –or- had to pay for the book only to find it a year
B) Yes, I found it under my child’s bed
C) My library books are always put away, and my own children books are in pristine condition

4. Have you ever realized it is bedtime and you haven’t fed the kids dinner?
A) Yes, and I couldn’t remember if they had breakfast or lunch, but they did get into all the chips and popcorn and cereal (I know because their remnants are all over the house)
B) Yes, but we were out and didn’t have time to eat yet
C) I always have a nutritious, delicious gourmet dinner that my children devour ready at 5:00

5. Have you ever yelled at your children to stop yelling?
A) Only after spanking their hand because they were hitting
B) Yes, but I try not to raise my voice too often
C) I never yell at my children, who would only raise their voices if the house was on fire

6. Have you ever sent the kids to bed a little early because there was a treat you had, that you didn’t want to share?
A) I am an expert at hiding ice cream bowls quickly in case my threats of death go unheeded and they still come downstairs
B) A few times, but they wouldn’t have liked the treat –or- I made/got it after they were in bed
C) No, I don’t eat things unhealthy and I always share all my treats with my children and husband

7. Have you ever let your child eat something they dropped on the ground, using the 3 second rule excuse?
A) More like 3 hour rule
B) Yeah, as long as it is a floor I know is super clean
C) No way!

8. Have you ever let your child’s diaper stay on so long it sags to their knees and/or ignored the smell of what they had done in it?
A) Either that or they take it off themselves and I have to play the "find that smell" game
B) Yes, but my husband was watching them and I changed it as soon as I got home
C) No, I change my baby’s diapers every 2 hours unless they pee or otherwise use it sooner

9. Have you ever been washing a pot and realized it was from dinner several days ago?
A) Try a week ago
B) Maybe a couple of days of old
C) I never have dirty dishes, I wash them immediately after using them

10. Have you ever told your child “maybe in a minute” and then forgot?
A) My child thinks “maybe in a minute” means “no”, besides, that is better than saying “yes” and then forgetting!
B) I did, but I did go do it when the child reminded me
C) I always drop whatever I am doing to play with my children

11. Have you ever gotten to church only to notice your child still has bed-head and/or a huge stain on their outfit?
A) Yes, and once they went to church wearing only socks and/or their rattiest shoes on their feet
B) Once, but only my boys’ hair or the stain happened on the way to church -or- it has happened, but not at church
C) My children look perfect every time they exit the house, and I don’t own any clothes with stains on them

12. Have you ever gotten to the store only to realize your hair is still pulled into the ponytail you threw it in when you got up, your wearing your worst cleaning clothes, and you’re wearing no makeup?
A) Yes, and I had forgotten I was only wearing slippers –or- you should have seen what the kids were wearing!
B) Not to that extreme, but I have hoped I wouldn't see someone I knew while I was out
C) I look perfect every time I exit the house and even my cleaning clothes are fashionable enough to wear out and about

13. Have you ever had to force your baby to ride in the stroller or store cart because you couldn’t find their shoes when you were leaving and thought they might be in the car?
A) Either that or they were wearing mismatched shoes
B) At least they had on socks
C) I always know where my kids’ shoes are. Either where they belong or where I go to clean them every week and since my car is spotless, I would never think the shoes were there

14. Have you ever ignored the fact that your children are awake and playing in their rooms even though you sent them to bed?
A) Just about every night
B) Every once in a while, more often on weekends and during summer
C)No, my children always go to bed at 5:30 and fall asleep directly after I bathe them, tuck them in, read them a story, tell them a story, and sing them 3 songs

15. When you read this test (My answers are all A’s) how did you feel?
A) I laughed
B) I rolled my eyes
C) I was horrified

Scoring: A=2, B=1, C=0

  • 20-30= You should feel comfortable dropping by anytime
  • 10-19= You would probably feel more comfortable stopping by if you give me 1 hour - 24 hour warning (depending on the score)

  • 0-9= You might need a lot of tolerance to stop by my house, but you are still always welcome


  1. That was hilarious. I was reading it to my mom and she had one to add- Have you ever forgotten your child was in Time Out and they fell asleep there? Haha, I am so happy to hear that I have another kindred mother out there!

  2. I laughed and laughed. My score was high. Some of the questions were so true. Motherhood is so fun.

  3. Let's just say we're MAJOR kindred mothers! LOL. You're hilarious.

  4. Some of these hit really close to home, such as...

    3) Not only did I find the missing library book well after I had paid the fine, but I found it with wavy, moldy pages in a cooler we had taken camping.

    7) A couple months ago I heard about a scientific study that showed moist foods (fruit, for example) pick up germs after about 5 minutes; dry foods (crackers, chips) take about 30 minutes. So I literally follow this 5-30 min. rule now, and do it without guilt. :o)

    11) I've noticed the problem before Church, but just let it go because I'd rather not introduce contention into our day right before I'm about to take the sacrament.

    12) I did that today!

    14) I can make them stay in their rooms, but I can't make them sleep. Why fight it?

    I scored 28! Loved the test!!

  5. He He doesn't get more kindred than a tied score! I knew what most of the questions and answers were going to be and I STILL laughed all the way through it!

  6. I got a 24. But I feel more comfortable at your house then mine so I think that makes me a kindred. It did make me laugh out loud!

  7. I didn't tally my score, but hey we are can all guess how it goes! That was really really funny.

  8. I love the new look of your blog. That is a great picture.

  9. LOVED IT!!! I am glad I can stop by anytime!! :o)

  10. Is it really bad if I answered "A" for all of the questions? I almost said "b" for one but then decided I should be honest.

  11. I'm not a mom (unless the cat, bird, and possibly DH count), but I suspect I'd have scored well in the 20s on this test. Definitely part of the kindred. ;-)