For a while now, I've known that puberty has been bearing down on me like an out of control locomotive. As it has screamed ever closer, I've felt like the innocent maiden tied to the tracks. Someone help me!! Well, this summer I am finally getting run over. The erratic mood swings, the changing body, the uncomfortable conversations. I've been through it all this summer. But it is worse, far worse. I am losing.
What am I losing, exactly? My sanity has been long gone. I am losing something much more qualitative. It all started a couple of weeks ago when my daughter accidentally (thanks a lot Tami!) discovered her feet are nearly my size. My shoes are no longer my own. I get to (unwillingly) share. "Where are those tan heels?" I wondered last Sunday. I guess my wondering is proof of my lost sanity. I should have known I would find them, not lost, but residing on my daughter's almost large enough feet. Take a look next Sunday, you'll see her wobbling down the isle (hopefully not in my black heels this time).
But it gets worse. I found out last Saturday that I have to shop in the junior section of stores now!! For obvious vanity issues I have avoided that section of store since my eldest was born, going there only as a last resort if the "older" section really only had shirts an octogenarian could love and even then desperately looking for anything remotely flattering that comes in sizes above "I want to show off my body". No more "Girls 7-14" sections for me (actually that is wrong, Kirsti is just about that size so I guess I am still stuck there, too). Don't get me started on the trips to the "lingerie" and/or "feminine hygiene" sections of stores; you thought going for yourself was embarrassing!! Shirts in Juniors fit her better, almost as though they were designed with her size in mind instead of mine.
At least the shirts I own are still too big. I feel torn on this. Should I be glad if she wants to borrow my clothes (yea, fashion sense!) or upset (Hey, I was going to wear that!!)? Hopefully an outcome I don't have to worry about. Ever. Because if she fits my shirts, it means she has developed the body to do so, and she hasn't nursed 6 kids.
But that still isn't all. Her media choices are developing, too. She watched the Dark Knight, and thought it was "Awesome". I know, I told everyone it was WAY to disturbing for anyone under 17, but my husband felt differently. I catch her watching "John and Kate plus 8" and "What not to Wear" more often than "Hannah Montana" (I might have inadvertently blocked MTV, I don't think she knows it exists yet anyway). And the other day she was listening to my music channel (the one I listen to if I happen to be sick of talk radio). "I just like the music on Flight 26 better than XM-kids." STOP, STOP, STOP!! And guess what book she started reading. Hasn't put it down all day, already half way through. Anne of Green Gables, you guess? Maybe Little House on the Prairie. No, Twilight is the first book to really capture her interest all summer. I think I am doomed.
Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? No, those are the 5 other train cars, relentlessly following behind the first. People thought I was crazy having them so close when they were toddlers! I guess I am neither "innocent" nor a "maiden", so there is nothing left to do but grin and bear it, hoping I'm not completely flattened by the ordeal. I fear my years with teenagehood are going to be worse than 12 years of diapers. Did I mention that my son is reading Eragon and blushing at underwear ads? AHHHHHHH!!
So, here's the flip side - you could instead be saying "I am too old for this". As in, me at the grocery store hunting down the best price on organic baby food and trying to decide whether to introduce the sweet potatoes or the winter squash yet...
ReplyDeleteI truly enjoy reading your blogs. You make my days of toddlerhood a little easier knowing that teenagehood is far off. I will look at her shoes on Sunday. heehee :o)
ReplyDeleteI am soooooo glad i still have a few years until i have to go down that road, mostly because i haven't been away from the teenage years long enough to know how to help someone else through them.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about her borrowing your shoes, if she's already your same size she will pass you up in no time and won't be able to wear them anymore!
I'm not looking forward to that at all, hopefully Jessica will take care of all 'that' stuff and I will be blissfully ignorant
ReplyDeleteugh...Kaylee already wears my shoes and she is only 6! I am REALLY doomed. Oh well, here is to a few more years of being the only "hormonal" one in the house.
ReplyDeleteSorry about the shoe thing. I thought she was joking when she said she wore the same size. I can't believe how your family has grown.
ReplyDeleteYou should be a journalist. You have quite a talent for fluency, suspense, and keeping the reader interested until the last sentence. I dread the day that I have to deal with those sorts of things, but I wonder if it's that feeling of dread that builds up that wall in the first place between parent and child. Is the parents who build the wall which keeps us from opening up to understand our children, and even worse... making them feel like we are out of touch and don't know what we're talking about? I don't know... just a thought. I am always grateful for the talks directed at the young women and the deacons because I always feel like they are solid inspiration that will help me understand how to work with my future teenagers. It's neat just watching these inspired men who are more "in touch" than any of us, and seeing exactly how they direct their thoughts towards teenagers. I am often amazed at their directness and boldness, but at the same time I always remember Pres Packer talking about how kids don't want us to beat around the bush... they want it direct, straight, and plain. Anyway... just some thoughts. I don't know what you're going through and definitely wasn't trying to come across as preachy.... Just some things I've been thinking about every time I fear the thought of my kids getting older (I actually think about it all the time because I spend my day with 10 and 11 year olds, and then I come home and spend my evening with my own kids and I find myself wondering what it will be like when each of them turns 10).
ReplyDeleteI agree with Jared. You should contact a newspaper and write a weekly article. I bet you could become a famous writer.
ReplyDeleteDeodorant will be your new best friend...and I agree with the others, you are a great writer.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I see a teenage boy I dread the thought of my boys being that big some day.
ReplyDeleteYou are a great writter you could write for a newspaper, but you should write books that is the big money maker.
If you think that you are old what does that say about me?
ReplyDeleteCharl,
ReplyDeleteWhy not write for both a newspaper and a book. You are very gifted.
I am sure you must of developed your skills in writing from me, since I don't seem to be able to find mine anymore.
I wouldn't worry too much about the sharing of clothes and shoes, it'll only be a short while and yours will be too much out of date. Of course, you're a pretty hip mom, so maybe that won't be for a while.
Just remember next time you can't find your favorite shoes, don't feel de-feeted, put pray for better understanding.