For a while now, I've known that puberty has been bearing down on me like an out of control locomotive. As it has screamed ever closer, I've felt like the innocent maiden tied to the tracks. Someone help me!! Well, this summer I am finally getting run over. The erratic mood swings, the changing body, the uncomfortable conversations. I've been through it all this summer. But it is worse, far worse. I am losing.
What am I losing, exactly? My sanity has been long gone. I am losing something much more qualitative. It all started a couple of weeks ago when my daughter accidentally (thanks a lot Tami!) discovered her feet are nearly my size. My shoes are no longer my own. I get to (unwillingly) share. "Where are those tan heels?" I wondered last Sunday. I guess my wondering is proof of my lost sanity. I should have known I would find them, not lost, but residing on my daughter's almost large enough feet. Take a look next Sunday, you'll see her wobbling down the isle (hopefully not in my black heels this time).
But it gets worse. I found out last Saturday that I have to shop in the junior section of stores now!! For obvious vanity issues I have avoided that section of store since my eldest was born, going there only as a last resort if the "older" section really only had shirts an octogenarian could love and even then desperately looking for anything remotely flattering that comes in sizes above "I want to show off my body". No more "Girls 7-14" sections for me (actually that is wrong, Kirsti is just about that size so I guess I am still stuck there, too). Don't get me started on the trips to the "lingerie" and/or "feminine hygiene" sections of stores; you thought going for yourself was embarrassing!! Shirts in Juniors fit her better, almost as though they were designed with her size in mind instead of mine.
At least the shirts I own are still too big. I feel torn on this. Should I be glad if she wants to borrow my clothes (yea, fashion sense!) or upset (Hey, I was going to wear that!!)? Hopefully an outcome I don't have to worry about. Ever. Because if she fits my shirts, it means she has developed the body to do so, and she hasn't nursed 6 kids.
But that still isn't all. Her media choices are developing, too. She watched the Dark Knight, and thought it was "Awesome". I know, I told everyone it was WAY to disturbing for anyone under 17, but my husband felt differently. I catch her watching "John and Kate plus 8" and "What not to Wear" more often than "Hannah Montana" (I might have inadvertently blocked MTV, I don't think she knows it exists yet anyway). And the other day she was listening to my music channel (the one I listen to if I happen to be sick of talk radio). "I just like the music on Flight 26 better than XM-kids." STOP, STOP, STOP!! And guess what book she started reading. Hasn't put it down all day, already half way through. Anne of Green Gables, you guess? Maybe Little House on the Prairie. No, Twilight is the first book to really capture her interest all summer. I think I am doomed.
Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? No, those are the 5 other train cars, relentlessly following behind the first. People thought I was crazy having them so close when they were toddlers! I guess I am neither "innocent" nor a "maiden", so there is nothing left to do but grin and bear it, hoping I'm not completely flattened by the ordeal. I fear my years with teenagehood are going to be worse than 12 years of diapers. Did I mention that my son is reading Eragon and blushing at underwear ads? AHHHHHHH!!