Wednesday, February 17, 2010

How to Enjoy Traveling With Young Kids. Yeah Right.

I'm sure all of you look forward to travelling with children as much as I do. You blissfully daydream about the prospect, counting down the time with as much excitement as a child waiting for summer vacation. Like all things, the build up beforehand can lead to disappointment in the execution. (I'm sure that must be the phenomenon that caused me to hate "The Box".) But, with careful planning, you can ensure an experience just as wonderful as you hoped.

Being lucky enough to experience this sort of travel many, many, many, many, many  ... so ... many ... times ... never ending travel ... many, many, many ...

Sorry, I was just lost in nostalgia.  Where was I?  Oh, yes, having experienced this sort of travel many (to the 1,000,000th degree) times, I've become a sort of expert and decided to show how I personally made it a good experience on our most recent trip:

1) Make sure you travel on an extremely busy travel week. For instance, if you live in New England, try travelling the week of winter break.  That way all the tickets are 3 times their normal cost and, in order to save $1500 dollars, you must drive to an airport 3 hours away. This ensures the children are well worn out before you even get to the airport.

2) Use all carry on luggage so that you don't have to pay the extra price for checked luggage. This way the stewardesses can take up pent up frustration on you before the flight. (I can't imagine why her eyes bugged out when we entered the plane with our luggage- see picture above for perspective)

3) Make sure your 5 year old is just tall enough so that, sitting regularly, his feet actually have no option but to touch the seat in front of him. That way, you can spend the entire flight contorting him (and yourself) into a myriad of positions to keep him from kicking that darn seat. Extra helpful- sit behind the Wicked Witch of the West who will interrupt your lecture on being respectful to the people in front of you to, well, lecture on the importance of being respectful to the person in front of you.

4) Do everything you can to delay your flight so you have to RUN, with all the kids, across the airport to the connecting flight. Only to find that they have moved the gate to the end of yet another console equally far away (so that you end up running 2 sides of an enormous triangle). Be the last people to get on the plane so that everyone can gawk at you as you get to your seats, where someone is sitting, so you get to stand in the aisle while they move. (Take up 2 and 2/3 rows so that you really can't move somewhere else because you need to sit close to all the kids.)

5) Have 2 layovers so that you get to run for a second connection. It helps if you have a talent for making your connecting flights as far away as possible.

6) Accidentally leave your portable DVD player ON when you pack it so that when you pull it out it has no charge left to watch a movie.

7) Be a big enough family that you can't fit in a rental car or minivan and must either rent a huge Suburban or get your parents to pick you up in their car AND get a smaller rental car.

8) Make sure your husband's job plans a must attend quarterly meeting in Ohio the week of winter vacation so he is gone for the middle 3 days of the family trip.

I guarantee you that, if you follow these steps, your experience of traveling with children will be extremely ... extremely ... I'm sorry I seem to have temporarily lost the ability to produce coherent thought. I can't imagine why.

Have any better "suggestions" that have made your traveling experiences as "fun" as mine?

21 comments:

  1. I've been known to stress out about car trips with my husband. I can't even imagine flying with kids.

    Have you stopped shaking yet? ;)

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  2. Yikes. What a bunch of nightmares. But where did you go?

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  3. LOL! I can't believe you didn't check any luggage! You are insane. You probably saved enough money by not checking bags that you can now fly out to my house!

    Hope your trip goes well, I can't believe you are posting while on vacation, I am sitting at home and still can't seem to get a post up. Oh well.

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  4. Benydryl? or however you spell that blasted concoction. Or maybe your doctor friend could give you something stronger...that way, you can just roll each child onto the plane on some kind of stretcher. Mmm, that would be nice.

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  5. PS I am thoroughly impressed and delighted at your diligence in posting while on vacation.

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  6. how about adding some motion sickness to the mix? or a kid just getting over an ear ache - they are fun on planes too.

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  7. I don't know how you do it. I get two kids on a plane (with a super-frequent-flyer-earner to help us get through the airport), and by the time we are on the plane,I want to go home.

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  8. It also helps if you make sure your kids are all sick right before you leave and while you travel.

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  9. But seeing as you are where you are, and there is sun and blue skies, you can let them all out to get out the wiggles.....

    Acutally, I am afraid to fly with a baby, I don't know if I will ever do it. Thankfully, all of the family now lives a days drive of our house.

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  10. After the last time I flew, I decided if we have more kids we will just never, ever get to go on vacation. I think I would explode in a fit of anxiety.

    Hope you're enjoying the sunshine!!!

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  11. Oh that's a great one. Hope you survive the trip home!

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  12. How about traveling with 2 children under 2 so that both you and your husband have an infant in arms and 3/4 of the people who talk to you imply that you lied about the age of your older child because who really has 2 kids less than 2 years apart.
    Glad you got there safely! Good luck going home ... and I also can't believe you didn't check any luggage!

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  13. You have to focus on the love and attention waiting for you at the other end of the trip. Now the trip home.

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  14. Ummm that sounds far too distressing for me to willingly try. But, I am glad that you were able to go on some sort of vacation!!

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  15. Hmmm....after reading that, I don't want need to take my kids on vacation again.

    I hope you are at least having fun wherever you are. And that it's somewhere warm.

    And my advice is this: don't read this post again before you come home, or you may not leave!

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  16. Thanks for these tips, Charlotte. :) I'm sorry that your latest adventure met with a few bumps along the road, but I'm impressed at the willingness you show to treat your kids to travel. Some of my favorite memories of my childhood were from our family vacations. I don't seem to remember all of the many snafus, but I'm sure my parents do.

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  17. We have gotten the same dirty looks from flight attendants about the carry ons. I just want to say. don't give us the dirty looks- take it up with the person who decided to start charging for checked luggage.

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  18. Haha! This is so funny. But true. Makes me think twice about buying tickets to fly out to CA this summer with my 6 kids, ages 2 months to 9 years.

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  19. Okay, here's mine. My son always gets airsick (are you telling me with 6 kids not one has a fussy stomach?) and my daughter apparently has the same name as some terrorist and so, when she was 4, she got pulled from the line and got subjected to a full-scale interrogation. Everything else was hassle free, but still!

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  20. You could come fly to Asia and visit us. Surely that would add some fun to your travel. :) By the way, you deserve an award. Traveling with just one is hard work. I have to share a story about kicking seats--I'm just going to send you a fb message though because it's long.

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  21. I can't believe that picture of your luggage! :0 That is so funny. I bet everyone was cursing your name. I can't even imagine trying to keep that many people happy on such long flights. I hope you had a fun vacation with Mom and Dad though.

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