I've been the mother of a teenager for all of one month and I've already abdicated my position as Cool Mom. I would like to say I did so willingly, but my husband forced my hand with his good example.
Good examples sure can stink sometimes.
It went down like this...
Elise recounted a conversation she was having with her friend. In response to Elise mentioning she wasn't going to a party that weekend, her friend asked, "Why not? It's your mom again, isn't it." Apparently the fact that she has a bedtime, she can't go to dances until she's fourteen, does not yet own a cell phone, and has to check with her parents before RSVPing a party makes us, well, less than cool.
(We also make her do chores and share a room with her sister. Oh, and there is the small matter of my dressing abilities, but her friend couldn't have known that.)
But wait! I was sure the decade between me and the other moms' age allows me to be Cool Mom for at least another few years. I mean I twitter, I text, my hairdo didn't come from the 1980's. I felt sucker punched.
The worst part was Elise had assumed I wasn't letting her go to the party when all I'd said was that I needed to know more information about parental supervision. I was misquoted. I should still be Cool Mom!!!
Anyway, that night I was teasing Elise about stealing my Cool Mom status, when my husband piped in with his opinion:
"I'll tell you what my mom told me, you can always use me as the excuse for anything you don't feel comfortable doing."
Shoot! He was, of course, right. I should play the scapegoat happily. (Don't worry, he was only right for about 5 minutes and then the keys he was sure I'd misplaced were found in his pocket.)
Anyway, have you heard? Strict is the new cool. I am Cool Mom after all, her friends just won't realize it for another 15 years.
Oh man, I'm doooooommmeeeddd. My kids have already made it perfectly clear that I am SO not cool, especially when I made them eat their broccoli and clean their room tonight. Blast!
ReplyDeleteI guess when I'm ready to move up the cool mom ranks I'll have to ask you how to do it.
P.S. How the heck do you know the Holladays? Nathan is my best friend's oldest brother and I know the family VERY well! I grew up with them in FL!
My mom told me the same thing and I used it all. the. time. I'm SO glad she did!
ReplyDeleteSix months is all I have left before i am the mom to a teenager. I already know I am not a cool mom *sigh*. So I guess the time line doesn't matter too much.
ReplyDeleteYou are cool and she is lucky to have a mom who cares so much! I am constantly blown away by how much parents are aware of and even encourage. We've and problems here with YW attending parties where there are open bars and parents are hosting it!
ReplyDeleteWhen you are cool you are cool. Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteI guess I'll let you hang with me and the other cool moms until I hear otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAt least you are still a cool sister (Of course, I'm sure there are uncool memories I just don't remember because I was too young...)
ReplyDeleteWell it makes me feel a little better that you are so young and STILL your kids think you're not cool, Charlotte! Which just proves that if you're the parent - no matter what age - the kids have to try to talk down to you about something. Stick with your no tolerance rule. A safe kid is an innocent kid!
ReplyDeleteBeing a cool mom is totally over-rated. Most cool moms just think that they are cool, but all of the kids just think that they are a dork. Is it cool to say dork? I think so.:-)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's possible to be a real mom and be cool. The two just aren't synonoymous. However, I remember using my parents as an excuse when I need to as a teen. And, I still use it til this day, only my husband has become the scapegoat. :-)
ReplyDeleteI used to rely on my mother telling me "No" for certain things. I even used curfew as an excuse to end more than one lame date.
ReplyDeleteI will gladly be the scapegoat, too!
One thing that I learned teaching high school and junior high for years was, is that kids want you to be the parent -- not cool. They might not realize it, or even be able to verbalize that, but they need and want that. Kids need structure, even as teenagers....so you go GEEK-O-MOM!!
ReplyDeleteI love it. Strict is definitely cool, she just doesn't know it yet.
ReplyDeleteStrict has always been the cool, just with a 15 year cloaking period. It all becomes clear later.
ReplyDeleteAhhh, the teenage years. Just as long as staying home is almost as fun as the parties you have to miss (which at your house it usually is!)
ReplyDeleteYou keep right on being un-cool, or cool - 'cause I'm confused now. Just keep doin' what you're doin'!
ReplyDeleteStrict is totalllly in...at least at my house. More power to you!
ReplyDeleteMelissa
www.thecorkums.com
I have to chuckle. I'm guessing/hoping our kids will understand when they're older. We aren't here to be friends or cool (though we like it when that happens). We are more often the facilitators and the enforcers. Especially for those pesky teens. Rules, and reasonableness regarding the rules. It's been getting me through for awhile now. And more importantly - getting my kids through.
ReplyDeletePhew... at least I am cool too then. At least that is what I tell myself.
ReplyDeleteHear, hear! My parents offered us the same "excuse" to offer up in sticky situations and it helped me extricate myself from a few uncomfortable ones. I still don't think my parents are cool, but I do think they were and are a great mom and dad! :)
ReplyDeleteI am going to go tell my kids that strict is the new cool. I love it!
ReplyDeleteIt always seems like my kids have friends with no rules. I hate that.
My kids don't need more friends.
ReplyDeleteThey have lots of friends.
They need a Mom...and I LOVE being their Mom.
And while at this age of 13 you may wonder where to draw the lines, TRUST your instincts and don't cave in...THE REWARDS of doing so will pay off big time in a couple of years! PROMISE PROMISE!!
I set the expectations low, and I don't have a teenager. I tell my kids all the time, I know I'm not the coolest mom, and I'm ok with that. Then they have nothing to complain about! Chores, curfew, modesty, she will thank you some day :)
ReplyDeleteStrict is totally cool. It took me about five years of being out of my parents' house to realize it, but I figured it out eventually. Given that standard, I'm probably on track to be the coolest mom EVER.
ReplyDeleteI used that mother scapegoat quite frequently. I found it kept me from doing things I really didn't want to do.
ReplyDeleteLove it! Here's another twist. I teach at my daughter's school (which she thinks is pretty much putting her into the 9th circle of hell). Tell your daughter it could be worse! Your uncoolness is limited to home hours. :)
ReplyDeleteStrict is the new cool? Ohhh yeeeaaah! In that case, I'm cooler than a refrigerator. Seriously, if using me as the excuse to stay out of trouble works, it's worth all the moaning and complaining from my kids and their deviant friends. Plus, I'm learning it's fun to play the dorky parent role. Kent and I compete for eyeball rolling from ten-to-18-year-olds.
ReplyDeleteI loved that my mom didn't mind that I used her for excuses sometimes. And I did it more than a few times. It was very nice to blame it on someone and then think, "Yeah! Don't have to go to that."
ReplyDeleteThat's what I'm going to do with my kids too, and if that makes me unpopular, so be it.
Whether you are "cool" or "uncool," you're a pretty smart cookie!
ReplyDeleteLaurieBee