Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Sock Monster and the ONE child it DOESN'T visit

The lack of matching socks irritated me.  As I rummaged the house for 2 (near) matching socks my 3 year-old could wear (preferably not pink), my irritation finally surpassed my cheapness and I decided new socks needed a place on my shopping list.

Somehow I ended up shopping in the morning, dragging my afternoon kindergartner and preschooler with me.  Normally I would rather sit through 6 episodes of Caillou than grocery shop before the afternoon bus comes, but the decided lack of food and corresponding growling tummies convinced me otherwise.  Plus, I had lunch plans in the afternoon.  (My cheapness does not extend to going out to lunch with friends, my waistline feels gypped).

Once arriving at the sock department, I remembered my oldest boys were also suffering from lack of enough socks, the Sock Eating Monster obviously seeing boys' socks as the ultimate treat.  Unlike my younger two boys, though, the prepubescent ones have ultra smelly feet and are not above reusing socks if none are immediately available.  So I added a package of their size to the cart (one gets the gray heals, the other the black- only one package per size needed*.  I'm not kidding about my love of being cheap).

Then I remembered my oldest daughter had a propensity for borrowing my socks when hers run out.  So I added some of her socks to the cart. I'm not great at sharing.  Ten minutes in the sock department is every child's dream; my boys were in heaven.  Not. So. Much.  Pent up boredom was nearing "Can you believe that mother can't control her kids" level, so we hurried through the rest of the grocery list and left

 {Yes, I shop at a grocery store that has a sock department.  Yes, it is the store you immediately think of that my kids like to call tram-laW.  Remember how I mentioned once or twice my fondness for not spending money?}

When the kids arrived home that afternoon, it was a mini-Christmas.  Please don't note how pathetic it is that my kids are thrilled to get enough socks to last the week.  As I handed out the packages, threatening them to not feed the Sock Monster, my 7 year old daughter waited.  Finally she asked, "Where are my new socks?"

"... Um..."


"You have tons of socks.  You don't really need anymore. I didn't buy you any."

I didn't mean to buy socks for only 5/6th of my children.  Until she said something, I hadn't even realized I'd done it.  The sock Monster must not have a taste for her socks, she has a TON.  That is the reason, in fact, her brothers often sported pink lined socks.

The look on her face, though.  I might as well as stamped "unfavored" on her forehead.  "But she doesn't need socks!" my cheapness begged.  "But she feels left out!"  my mom sense retorted.

Turns out I forgot to pick up a new flash drive my son needed for a project the next day (the Sock Monster also has a strong appetite for school supplies), and so I found myself back at the store that night.

While there I picked up a package of socks for my 7 year-old.

I'm a sucker.

Epilogue: This happened about a month ago.  Since that time the Sock Monster has managed to eat most of the boys' socks.  Again.  They are now borrowing from their sister at least once a week.  Again.  Good thing I bought her those extra socks.

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* I may buy them their own sock color, but that is in no way a promise that they wear their socks that way.  I can't even get them to not share underwear.  I just use bleach and pray it is enough.

So how about you, have you ever accidentally left a child out?  Doe the Sock Monster visit you, too?  Do you turn a blind eye to siblings sharing underwear and socks?  Have a teenage daughter with your shoe size who likes to share your socks and shoes?


  1. That nasty SM has also visited my house! My kids would be thrilled beyond words if I brought home packages of socks for them. What is the dealio with that?

  2. SOCKS! I raise my fist and curse you! I don't know how many hundreds of dollars I have spent on these things through the years. And yet there are none. Or rather, there are no pairs. But I can look in just about any nook and cranny in the play room and kids rooms and find strays.

    Seriously, socks make me contemplate suicide.

  3. Jeanette Hiatt4/21/10, 6:50 AM

    I think Mister Sock Monster (I have found a healthy respect for the creature keeps him a little at bay) visits every house, but ever since my kids have been old enough to lose socks they have shared, so we have a big basket of free for all socks. If your feet are bigger you have to wear smaller ones, SO DON'T LOOSE EM' My kids also have relatively small feet, so my 11 year old can (according to my interpretation) wear the same size as my 6 year old. When the sock level in the basket gets to low, I buy new sock and there is a frenzy the next morning to get to the new ones first. Underwear they get to keep their own, and my one and only boy gets hin own sock too... My two cents wort!

  4. the sock thing drives me crazy as well! and yes I will admit it is too hard to remember who's underwear is who's. like who's has barbie on it and who's has Littlest Petshop. I never thought I would have them share that but i do!!

  5. I love getting sox, buying them, and just having a drawer full of them. I think I have over 100 pairs of sox. The sox monster would have a hey-day at my house.

  6. My 5 year old refuses to wear others underwear and socks. He will go camando before he would share germs.

    My 2 year old couldn't care less, he wears what I hand him to wear.

  7. You are so funny! The sock monster LOVES my baby's socks. Although he hates to eat both. He just takes 1. Also, I would rather sit through an episode of -gasp- Barney while I poke my eyes out than go to the grocery store period. Why do I hate it so bad?

  8. I hate the sock monster. What is up with him, anyway?

    Luckily, I have all girls, so no problem sharing. Oh wait, I have all girls, so BIG problem sharing.

    Your 7 year old will have to disclose her tricks!

  9. I think the Sock Monster has helpers at our house. I never have a problem with mine as they are pinned together before being thrown in the hamper. ONE daughter does the same thing. The rest are always looking for socks. My son has even shown up to church with pink flower socks because he dressed himself and those were the socks he found. Thankfully my three of my daughters have bigger feet than I do. :D I take it as a sign that they will all be taller than my 5'2".

  10. I have been throwing away almost every pair of Trevor's socks that come through the laundry due to the fact that he wears them outside with no shoes, I am trying to hold off buying new socks seeing that summer is on it's way. I am not sure I will make it. And of course Kaylee still has socks from 5 years ago that are sill in working order with all it's mates so she never needs new socks either!

  11. Our sock monster is on a diet and only eats one sock from each pair. Poor Kirsti, so glad that you bought her a package of socks like the others. It is important to know that mom cares about how you feel over rather or not you need something. You are doing a great job. Love ya

  12. Ahh, summer is coming. Which means flip-flops, and most importantly: NO SOCKS!

    Just this morning, my 8 year old had a grade A nuclear meltdown because all her socks had holes in them, and we all know it's a fate worse than DEATH to wear socks with holes.

    And if only I had a store that carried kids socks within 25 minutes...

  13. This. Is. My. Life. All of it. The socks, the matching, the sharing and the "why does he get something I don't want and don't need but desperately have to have?"

  14. We have a sock monster too. It mostly preys on my sons socks. But we also have a hole-leaving sock monster. This monster doesn't eat entire socks, he just leaves holes in them. Funny, it only happens to my husband.

  15. Yes. Yes. And Yes. The sock monster also lives here. He also talks the kids into wearing socks more than one day in a row, sharing underwear, or not even changing underwear. Yes it is a nasty and sick sock monster. And yes it also makes me leave kids out on occasion.

  16. With one 14-year-old boy and one 10-year-old girl, sharing has never been an option in my household!

    My son gets one thing only: packages and packages of "no show" black nike sock thingies. My daughter actually IS the sock monster. Since she was a baby and was found to yank off her socks and throw them over her head, she's never been able to hang onto a pair!

  17. I can't relate just yet, my boys are still young enough that I have COMPLETE control over clothes. In fact, my obsession extends itself to allowing my oldest only to fetch clothes for himself out of one dresser drawer. That drawer is a mess of play clothes, items I don't care whether we lose, or destroy. The rest...clothes in the closet, the other drawers, are off limits unless mommy puts them out. Even to my husband.

    What?...I have a system! :-)

  18. I have two children, so I can't really leave one out, of anything. But the sock thing????? I have purchased more socks in 18 years of parenting than any small town. And where are they now? Especially all the socks since the age of twelve??

    Another dimension. Mysteriously. The black hole. To infinity - and beyond!!

  19. One day I think they will tear down our house and find the foundation has been completely replaced with socks, pens, and spoons. There is no other explanation as to where they could be.

  20. Socks. *shudder* I have a TON of mismatched socks! Although I think that maybe my kids ate them instead of the monster.

    Whenever I buy something for more than one kid, I tend to feel guilty and buy something for ALL of them.

    I know, I'm a sucker too.

  21. Oh the memories! I used to make the kids buy the same kind of socks every time so that if they got a hole in one sock, they could still wear the other. Wait until you hit the pantyhose stage! I finally had to order through the mail in order to get long-lasting pantyhose. The girls cost me a fortune in pantyhose when they were on their missions!

  22. Not only do I not turn a blind eye on underwear sharing, I usually encourage my kids to find clean underwear in any drawer they can.

    My oldest likes to wear my nylons...without asking...but it is always evident when I pull out a "new" pair from my drawer and they already have runs. Aargh!