I’m sure everyone has heard by now that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) is to blame for all the evil in the world. So out of sheer curiosity, I looked in my pantry. My favorite teriyaki sauce, the only one I'll use? It is the number one ingredient. Soy sauce? It was in there, too. In fact, practically everything I like contains HFCS.
So that got me thinking.
Maybe I should make my own HFCS and add it to my home cooked stuff too. I hate broccoli. Perhaps not after infusing it with HCSF! Meat a little tough? Marinate with HCSF. Kids complain about dinner? Pour some of this yummy syrup over it. Want to win the next chili cook off? I have a secret ingredient!
I could even save money on my grocery budget! Just take all the left-too-long leftovers and mix in HFCS. Just like new!! Maybe I could just go outside and bring in a bucket of dirt. Mixed with just the right amount of HFCS (and the perfect dishes and center piece), and I’ve made a gourmet dinner!!
No more complaining, great cook reputation, my 6 year old gaining enough weight to be out of her car seat. I’m not really finding a down side.
In fact, maybe it isn’t just for cooking! I bet pouring it all over my house will make it look great without cleaning. Who needs to workout or use makeup? Just shower in HFCS (for an added treat see what happens if your husband does it too). Maybe it can be made into a hairspray to fix a terrible haircut. I wonder if lame TV shows are funny once you make a HFCS screen? The possibilities are endless.
HCSF just might be a panacea for all my problems!!
So, anyone have a good recipe for high fructose corn syrup?
(And a quick note to my book club: don’t worry, I am not using HFCS for the pumpkin rolls I’m bringing this week, they are strangely delicious all on their own. But I wonder if they could taste even better. Hmmm.)