I often hear men lovingly proclaim that their homemaker wife has the hardest job. Just once I would like to also be awarded “toughest job.” I do, after all, have 6 children. But you see I have some stiff competition; my husband is an ER doctor. (And technically it is an ED doctor- it is a department, not a room after all) Let’s compare job duties:
Me: I was up all night (figuratively) with the baby.
Peter: I was up all night (literally) working my 5th all night shift, then stopped in on a morning meeting, then stayed up as long as possible so I could flip back to daytime hours.
Me: My kids were bickering all day. Possible even had an all out fight to referee.
Me: I was up all night (figuratively) with the baby.
Peter: I was up all night (literally) working my 5th all night shift, then stopped in on a morning meeting, then stayed up as long as possible so I could flip back to daytime hours.
Me: My kids were bickering all day. Possible even had an all out fight to referee.
Peter: I had a shooting, retaliation shooting, and then retaliation for the retaliation stabbing.
Me: Have you ever spent all day with a tantrum throwing 3 year old?
Peter: Have you ever had an OCD schizophrenic (who is off his medicine and on cocaine) punch you in the face?
Me: I changed a ton of diapers today.
Peter: I gave a 500 pound man a rectal exam.
Me: My kid threw up on me.
Peter: Know what an obstructed bowel is? Stuff has to come out one end or the other.
Me: I was running kids around all day. While doing laundry, cooking dinner, and reading Silly Sally 500 times.
Peter: I had a stroke, heart attack, car accident, and 1st time mom with a 99.0 degree “fevered” baby come in AT THE SAME TIME and I was the ONLY doctor on duty.
Me: I had to practically force the kids to brush their teeth and/or clean their room.
Peter: I had to hold down a screaming baby while I stitched him up and/or gave him a spinal tap.
Me: Had to help the boys deal with a bully.
Peter: Had to bully the consulting doctor to actually see and admit his patient.
Me: Diaper rashes to sooth, hurt feelings to mend, virtues to teach
Peter: You-don’t-want-to-know rashes to diagnose, death notifications to give, Plan B asked for often.
But then again, Peter is well paid and has nurses who think he’s wonderful. I get paid in “love” and “beautiful memories” and a husband who comes home and asks, “What DID you do ALL day?” Maybe my job is harder after all…
And if my husband and I come across as a little crass, this post should prove that it is merely a coping mechanism. Otherwise we would both be totally insane. Which we aren’t. No, really. Why are you looking at me like that? What do you mean, “inappropriate dinnertime conversation”?
Me: Have you ever spent all day with a tantrum throwing 3 year old?
Peter: Have you ever had an OCD schizophrenic (who is off his medicine and on cocaine) punch you in the face?
Me: I changed a ton of diapers today.
Peter: I gave a 500 pound man a rectal exam.
Me: My kid threw up on me.
Peter: Know what an obstructed bowel is? Stuff has to come out one end or the other.
Me: I was running kids around all day. While doing laundry, cooking dinner, and reading Silly Sally 500 times.
Peter: I had a stroke, heart attack, car accident, and 1st time mom with a 99.0 degree “fevered” baby come in AT THE SAME TIME and I was the ONLY doctor on duty.
Me: I had to practically force the kids to brush their teeth and/or clean their room.
Peter: I had to hold down a screaming baby while I stitched him up and/or gave him a spinal tap.
Me: Had to help the boys deal with a bully.
Peter: Had to bully the consulting doctor to actually see and admit his patient.
Me: Diaper rashes to sooth, hurt feelings to mend, virtues to teach
Peter: You-don’t-want-to-know rashes to diagnose, death notifications to give, Plan B asked for often.
But then again, Peter is well paid and has nurses who think he’s wonderful. I get paid in “love” and “beautiful memories” and a husband who comes home and asks, “What DID you do ALL day?” Maybe my job is harder after all…
And if my husband and I come across as a little crass, this post should prove that it is merely a coping mechanism. Otherwise we would both be totally insane. Which we aren’t. No, really. Why are you looking at me like that? What do you mean, “inappropriate dinnertime conversation”?
Peter wins!! I am glad I'm not an ED Doctor.
ReplyDeleteBoth jobs sound gross. It's hard to judge which would be tougher, because (shockingly) I have never been a doctor. However, I have been a homemaker and while it often takes a toll on my sanity, I must admit the pay (love and memories) is pretty dang good. Most of the time.
ReplyDeleteJust a side note, when I first closed the comment window and saw that picture again, for a split second I totally saw Ryan (Pete) and Ethan (Charlotte)- I always thought your kids looked like you, but MAN that was freaky.
ReplyDeleteMan, I don't think I could ever be an ED doc OR a mom. I will stick with teacher, dad and lazy bum.
ReplyDeleteOk, did ALL that stuff happen to Pete on the SAME day?? If so he wins but if that was a week worth of stuff that happened then Charlotte wins because hers could all happen not only within the same day, but within one hour of her day!
ReplyDeleteFunny post. Love the picture.
sorry, I have 5 kids, I know it is a hard job...but your Peter wins...hands down!
ReplyDeleteI totally got a kick out of this-glad Brett chose radiology
ReplyDeleteYou really are very funny and clever. I loved this compare and contrast.
ReplyDeleteI just want to say---it LOOKS like Peter wins, but I'm in the ED as well, and I know for a fact, the doctor gets to walk out of the room in the end.
You could technically walk out, but you pretty much always have to go back. That's the part I find difficult about parenting. Oh, that and the endless cycle of it all. I mean, how many times in a week does Peter have to give the SAME 500 lb man a rectal exam. How many times have you had to wipe the same bum, just today!?
Okay, no comparison. But I tried.
Crass dinner conversation or not, whatever works, right? You two amaze me.
ReplyDeleteOh and I have been at your dinner table and this conversation does not even begin to compare to your inappropriate dinner conversations ;)
ReplyDeleteYeah I've finally gotten caught up on you blog. Love the video of your mom and the BYU game. She is just like I remember her. As for who wins. I think it goes to Charlotte. Peter gets a close second place.
ReplyDeleteWow- you see, this literally was read at our dinner table right now- Joe's eating steak and I'm on the computer sitting next to him... it was actually pretty entertaining... could you provide things like this for us every night at the dinner table?
ReplyDelete(This is Vi not Joe! although we both enjoyed it)
Glad to know that being a doctor is just as glamorous as being a mom. I think both are tough jobs. One of my favorite posts on your site brings the two jobs together. It included the picture of Peter stitching up Joseph on the kitchen table while you held your son still and kept him calm. You guys complement each other so well!
ReplyDeleteThat is the funniest thing I've ever read. Kendall said, "She has the harder job, that's why I'm gonna be a doc." I said, "He has the harder job, that's why I stay home with the kids."
ReplyDeleteI don't know. There are some ups and downs to the jobs. Although, Peter has had his entertaining moments too (a light bulb up the rear, maybe? or a sister in law with spooning kidneys? or telling a birthing woman her baby is 'prairie dogging it'? I mean, where else do you get perks like that??? Also, I agree with Brenda, your dinner conversations can get much worse than that.
ReplyDeleteI too agree about the dinner conversations. Both jobs are hard but do not compete. Both are rewarding but Motherhood has the most eternal rewards. Thus Peters job is harder. Although I watched Charlotte with all the kids and I know her job is harder. So there.
ReplyDeleteBased on what you wrote, Peter wins. But when Peter's shift is over, he goes golfing with my husband. When was the last time YOU got to go golfing with my husband? (And the answer better be never or I really have to figure out how to rate around here).
ReplyDeleteCharlotte wins. It was close, but she forgot to mention that she has to put up with Pete when he gets home. That tips the scales!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Brenda. If it all happened in one day Peter wins. But I actually wouldn't take either of your jobs. Well, I guess I have a mild version of Charlotte's
ReplyDeleteMy dreams of being a doctor are no longer! Thanks for the reality check! Charlotte- you know I think you are a saint to be the mother of 6. Although Peter's job is absolutely difficult, he does get a break every now and then. Mothers never take time off!!!
ReplyDeleteYou two are so hilarious and quite witty. I made Ryan come in to read the post because I was laughing so hard. I don't want either job...so there!
ReplyDeleteNow I'm officially into the blogging. I would check yours when I had the chance but never made it as far as leaving a comment (ok-I had to figure it out-I've been a little slow for a while now). Needless to say you amaze me with your 6 children. I think you're a great mother (but tell Peter my hat goes off to him for what he deals with on a regular basis at work too-I definitely wouldn't be cut out for that!)
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't want either job! Oh, wait, dangit.
ReplyDeleteNow I just don't feel justified in complaining...if I am ever having one of those days I'll just load up the kids and take them to the ER...you know, since his day stinks already why make mine bad too?
That is an amazingly fabulous idea EJ. Have you ever done that Charlotte? Just take your kids to the ED and leave them there. If he wants to win the contest, give him both jobs at the same time!
ReplyDeleteOk, next time I eat dinner with my family, I am just not going to say anything. For at least 10 seconds.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the attempts to make my job seem harder. Unfortunately, all that could happen to him in one shift and he sometimes does give repeated "uncomfortable" exams to some people. Although I appreciated the mention of having to put up with Peter when he comes home(Scesther you know us well).
I think the lack of breaks and the cyclical nature of work is some of the hardest parts of being a mom and I agree that my "pay" is pretty darn good (most days anyway).
Charlotte, your blog is so cute! I hope you don't mind if I add you to my page so that I can keep in better touch. I changed my mind about switching to a private blog because so many friends were following it. I'll just try to be more cautious with what I post. Anyway, hope you keep in touch with us! Love to your family! Happy Thanksgiving!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah, being a mom is tough but I wouldn't want to be a doctor - couldn't handle it!!! =)
ReplyDelete