A couple months ago, ever optimistic about the approach of spring weather even in the frigid northeast, I bought a hammock. By optimistic I mean in complete denial because it wasn't warm enough to put up and enjoy until 2 weeks ago. Oh, it has been grand!! I sit in it and wonder how I ever survived summers without one: peacefully rocking while watching the kids and reading a book. When I am crowned complete ruler of the universe, my throne will be a hammock. (Drat! All this relaxation made me slip out my evil plans)My children have also loved this new toy. My children enjoying peaceful relaxation? No, they think it has replaced our trampoline. I looked outside the other day and they were taking turns running full blast into the hammock and flipping it around to land underneath. This would be fine if the hammock and stand were made out of unbreakable material and the children's bones were made out of rubber. (I would wish for them to be unbreakable, too but it already hurts when they accidentally run into me, step on me, and/or roll their arm over and hit me while sleeping; unbreakable bones would make this worse so I'll keep wishing for rubber.)
So, practicing my ruling skills for my eventual universal domination, I went out and lectured about proper hammock usage. They stopped the hammock circus, or at least figured out how to do it when I'm not looking.
Actually, the "proper hammock usage" lecture has been given a lot since I put it up. Since it is large enough to hold two big people or three little ones, they are constantly getting in and out. "You have to give warning before climbing off, you're going to make us tip!" "Don't lean too far to the side, you're going to flip us!" "Be careful climbing on, I have to scoot over first!" (all repeated 100 times).
The other day my husband and I were reading in the hammock, our heads at either end, while the kids played. I was telling him my adventures to date with the hammock. "Why, oh why, can't the kids learn to be careful? They are going to flip me off this hammock. It isn't that hard to be careful." As I laughed at my kids' inability to properly use the hammock, I went to grab my book off the ground, upsetting the balance and flipping the hammock over. We both sat stunned on the ground.
Days of rough housing on the hammock. Numerous on and off patterns. Warnings without end. Who has sustained injury so far? Me. My husband. My dignity. Maybe my kids should teach me proper hammock usage. I wish my bones were made of rubber.
Have you ever lectured about the dangers of something only to be caught as the one breaking the rules?
That is really hilarious. I want to come back to your hammock. I went to lay on ours today after weeding the garden for an hour. I laid there for about 2 minutes before two spiders changed my mind. The beach is a way better view anyway.
ReplyDeleteHa ha! Did the kids see it happen? If so, you'll have a hard time lecturing them in the future! A hammock sounds great, what a good idea.
ReplyDeleteThats funny! It must be nice to just be able to sleep on the hammock after a day of swimming at the beach.
ReplyDeleteJust today I was having interviews with the kids and discussing keeping their rooms clean when one of them mentioned my room (especially my side of the bed) - guess I can ALWAYS be a better example.
ReplyDeleteHammocks are great! I may need to go get one now . . . some have tie ropes that keep them from flipping over. Oh, I laughed out loud at the phone message post!
emma jo- come over anytime
ReplyDeleteKim- they didn't, but they learned what happened quickly by the loud laughter of their mother sitting under the hammock
Jessica- It is wonderful, although I have yet to be able to nap- the kids keep climbing on.
Cire- I have the clean room dilemma, too.
I bought those ties for the hammock, but I like to swing a little more sometimes I untie them. I can't recommend hammocks high enough. Wish I had bought one years ago.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm I dont know the hammock sounds more stressful then calming to me. Maybe you should send it my way so I can test my threory
ReplyDeleteThat is a funny story. Andrea and I love sitting in our hammock, but it is hooked to the patio and it is big enough for four or five people, so it doesn't flip or tip.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I have a great picture in my head of you guys flying off the hammock!
ReplyDeleteAddie is very good about calling me out for breaking the rules. If I take food into the family room, she is very quick to remind me of my own "food in the kitchen" rule. Not long ago she got really mad at me and when I asked her what was wrong she said, "You didn't obey me!"
Mom at our House- you'll just have to come out here to test it.
ReplyDeleteBarlow- I can't even imagine that size, ours is HUGE
Andrea- Joseph went through that phase. Even tried to put me in time out for disobedience. I made sure it was a short lived phase. Has she tried to punish Jace, too? (All my older kids would eventually try it with the younger ones)
Ah whenever you talk about sitting in your hammock I am so jealous. It sounds so nice! At least the kids didn't catch you and pete playing run, spin, and flip on it after they were in bed that night :) I know you do!!
ReplyDeleteIt has been forever since I got to sleep in a hammock (I remember playing in the Davis's as a kid).
ReplyDeleteBTW, I like the links at the bottom of your posts. Very fancy.
Argh, we have had a hammock for 11 years now and NO stand to hang it on! I REALLY need to get one (next time my sweet hubby is looking to get me some kind of present....you know for the 4th of July or something....you could suggest a hammock stand!)
ReplyDeleteBarlow's Hammock is huge, it really holds all my family with no tipping problems.
So funny! I'd love to sit and read in a hammock by the water...even if someone kept tipping me out!
ReplyDeleteMy first thought was "I'll be right over".
ReplyDeleteMy 2nd thought was "Oh, Charlotte will want to be in it so I won't be able to hog it."
My 3rd thought was "Oh, good, it's big enough for both of us.
My 4th thought was "Hmm. Guess I don't want to share a hammock with Charlotte. Her mom didn't teach her proper hammock usage"
I'll still be right over though. I can't WAIT for spring to be over so it will get nice enough to enjoy it.
For those of you reading this post from outside Connecticut - she might have FINALLY put up the hammock two weeks ago but it still rained over half the days since then.
Boyer family- you know I don't! (but that when you to visit you will convince/force me to give it a try)
ReplyDeleteGordon- you should give it a try again. Thanks for the comment about the links. I thought it was a WordPress widget, but then saw it on a blogger blog so started googling.
Shalise- You're right, it is worth all the tipping.
Twinlinebackers- It is big, but you probably don't to share with me (not quite that big!) I can't wait for it to be more consistently warm. All this rain is driving me batty!