Monday, January 26, 2009

Google Saved my Reputation

A few years ago, google was nothing more than a really, really big number. But now? Now it is my yellow pages, encyclopedia, worksheet finder, and craft idea keeper, and housekeeper. Well, they haven’t introduced the housekeeping function. YET. They do, however, run my blog, picture organizer, and email systems.

But one of the best features of google? It doubles as a dictionary. Because I can’t spell. All I now do is start typing the word in google toolbar and the correct spelling pops up underneath. Saved my reputation a lot. Just yesterday I used it to see how many s’s and r’s are in embarrassment.
But google-as-dictionary has an even more important function. Type “define:word” and the word’s definition will come up. This is handy, because I mix up definitions A LOT. Like the time I was telling my friends about some urban legend wiji board party (only I called it an orgy party).
So the other day I was writing a comment and wanted to say something may be a faux pas {define:faux pas ~ a socially awkward or tactless act} Only I wanted a less snobby word, so I was using what I thought was a synonym {define: synonym ~ two words that mean the same thing} . Half way through the comment I decided I better double check the meaning of the word. Turns out the word was really an acronym {define:acronym~a word formed from the initial letters of the several words in the name} with a completely unrelated meaning. It stands for “Situation Normal. All #@*!&# Up”. That's right, not only was I about to put in a word that wouldn’t have made sense in the comment, I was about to unintentionally swear. Or at least allude to swearing {define allude~To refer to something indirectly or by suggestion} .

These situations are not uncommon for me. Just ask my husband. I probably look up a definition at least once a day (and normally I'm right, but there are those other times). So if I ever use a word that doesn’t make sense in the context {define: context~discourse that surrounds a language unit and helps to determine its interpretation}, please forgive me. I don’t mean to commit a faux pas, my brain language storage is just in a state of snafu.

I am a little disappointed. I thought snafu it was a double acronym (because every one knows that THAT bad word stands for Fornication Under the Crowned King), but Snopes has corrected me, I was wrong all along. That could have been embarassing embarrasing embbarrassing embarrassing!


  1. you crack me up, I am a terrible speller too...I spell so bad that even spell check can't figure out what I am trying to say at time!

    I always thought that word ment For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge...

  2. How ironic (define: ironic = Both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way) that before I clicked over to your blog, I used Google for some housekeeping advice: "How do I get vomit out of carpet?" I've got my answer and I'm on my way.

    P.S. My favorite swear word is "swear". "Oh swear!" doesn't offend anyone and usually creates giggles.

  3. nice tip about the define: parameter. Didn't know that one.
    I use google as my calculator and convertor (i.e. 1 mile in kilometers, or 4 ^ 25 * 16)

  4. I would have guessed you were an excellent speller because you seem to know the English language well. I am horrible at all things English, that is why I chose to write/speak American.

  5. Funny post. :) I'll have to try google for definitions and spelling, too. Reminds me of the time my brother, after much laughter, had to explain to me what a 'mofo' was. (I thought it was a mormon fornicator.)

  6. I love that I can come to your blog and not only be entertained but learn something as well. I usually open up Microsoft word and check words to see if they are misspelled...I also enjoy using the handy shift+F7 button for a little Thesaurus action.

  7. Wow I learned quite a bit today. Thanks!

  8. OH MY!! What a post!!! I just had to comment as soon as I read it! SO funny though :)

  9. I can believe 5 of you sat around astonished that I didn't know that word was an acronym and I was right afterall. Hmmph. I was going to check out snopes on it but my fingers are too pure. =>

  10. I wouldn't even have been able to think of the words to use let alone spell them. Oh I am glad you looked it up though.

  11. Aimee- I often have misspelled it that bad, too. And your acronym was also listed as an urban legend. I didn't link to the actual site (because that is such a nasty word!!)

    Mary- I will try that. I even feel guilty using words like "shoot" and "crap". Plus, I hope you got out the throw up!!

    Gordon- I knew a parameter you didn't?!? Happy Day.

    Mom at our House- Thanks for the compliment. But, no, I can't spell at all.

    Jamie- I had to google mofo because I had never heard of it. Good thing your brother told you what it meant instead of letting you continue using it!!

    Emma Jo- thats me, always the teacher ;)

    Vee- I'm sorry for that.

    Davis Family- As soon as I read it=3 days later when I asked why Gordon was the only one in the family to comment (too crass for them, I guess)

    Twinlinebackers- you were right and I was wrong. You were right and I was wrong. You were right and I was wrong....

    Mom- I looked them up just for you. I'll just buy you a dictionary to keep at my house. BTW, I still say ambiguity is a common word.

  12. I do the exact same thing. Sometimes Jared comes home and sees the random words still in the google box and questions what I was doing all day :)

  13. Boyer Family- If only Peter could have seen the things I googled while writing the post...